CF I HOPE YOU ARE READY FOR THE FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!

TODAY HAS BEEN ONE OF THOSE DAYS WERE I FEEL CYSTIC FIBROSIS IS GETTING THE BEST OF ME.... TRINITY GOT HER PEG TUBE PLACED ON THE 7TH AND IS DOING GREAT WITH THE FEEDS AT NIGHT BUT NOW SHE IS NOT EATING A LOT DURING THE DAY.  THE DOCTORS SAID DON'T PANIC, BUT ME BEING THE MOM, PANIC IS ALL I KNOW.  SHE HAS ALSO DEVELOPED A NASTY COUGH SINCE LEAVING THE HOSPITAL.  I AM FREAKING OUT.  WE HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL AND BEING PUT IN TO DO HER TUBE PLACEMENT, HAS MADE ME CRAZY.  WHAT GERM DID SHE CATCH WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL, WHY IS SHE COUGHING, IS SHE GOING TO GAIN WEIGHT? 

CF HAS STARTED SHOWING ITS UGLY HEAD HERE IN THE LAST YEAR AND I CAN'T STAND IT.  I TOOK TRINS TO SCHOOL TODAY AND WALKED IN WITH HER TO TALK TO THE TEACHER ABOUT HER TUBE AND WHEN I GOT BACK HOME, I JUST CRIED.  I TOLD GREG I THOUGHT I KNEW WHY GOD HAS CHOSEN US. I THOUGHT HE CHOSE US TO BE THEIR PARENTS B/C WE ARE FIGHTERS AND WE WILL FIGHT TO TAKE CARE OF OUR GIRLS AND MAKE SURE THEY ARE GETTING EVERYTHING THEY NEED, BUT NOW I AM ASKING WHY?  I ASK GREG ARE WE GOING TO WATCH OUR GIRLS SUFFOCATE TO DEATH AND NOT BE ABLE TO BREATHE B/C OF CF.  TRINITY IS HAVING THE TOUGHEST TIME GETTING MUCOUS UP AND WATCHING HER GAG AND TRY TO GET IT UP IS KILLING ME.  WHY???? WHY US????? WHY SHOULD ANY PARENT HAVE TO WATCH THEIR KIDS GO THROUGH THIS?  

I KNOW ASKING WHY IS NOT SOMETHING I SHOULD DO.... I LOVE THE FACT THAT I HAVE MY GIRLS AND THEY ARE SUCH FIGHTERS BUT A PARENT SHOULDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DEATH... I SHOULD BE ABLE TO ENJOY MY GIRLS AND NOT HAVE WORRIES.  I KNOW EVERY PARENT HAS WORRIES BUT MY WORRIES ARE EATING AWAY AT ME.  GREG ASK ME SOMETHING ONE DAY AND NOW I THINK ABOUT THAT ALL THE TIME.  ARE WE GOING TO BE ALONE WHEN WE ARE OLD?  SORRY TO BE A BUMMER AND MAKE PEOPLE SAD BUT THIS IS MY OUT....

MY GIRLS ARE MY LIFE.... I EAT, DRINK, SLEEP MY GIRLS.  SLEEP WELL NOT SO MUCH.  LOL.  GOD I AM SORRY I AM ASKING WHY.... I KNOW MY GIRLS ARE WITH ME B/C WE AS A FAMILY ARE SO STRONG AND SUCH FIGHTERS... I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM AND NEVER LEAVE THEIR SIDE.  WATCHING YOUR BABIES HURT, OR SUFFER FROM SOMETHING THEY SHOULDNT HAVE TO IS HARD. 

TRINITY AND PYPER IF YOU EVER READ THIS: KNOW I AM SORRY THAT U HURT, OR STRUGGLE IN ANYWAY.  PLEASE KNOW THAT YOUR MOM WILL GIVE EVERYTHING SHE HAS FOR YOU TWO.  THAT INCLUDES YOUR DADDY.  HE FEELS THE SAME WAY I DO.  WHATEVER IT TAKES, WE WILL DO.. I LOVE BOTH OF YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AND AS WE ALWAYS SAY: TO INFINITY AND BEYOND.  GOD DID GIVE ME YOU GIRLS FOR A REASON AND THAT REASON WAS B/C I WOULD FIGHT FOR YOU, AND LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY AND NEVER, I MEAN NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDES.  THANK YOU GOD FOR MY GIFTS.  I KNOW I ASK WHY AND I AM SORRY.  I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT OF FAITH IN ME AND GREG BUT KNOW WE ARE NO WHERE NEAR AS STRONG AS YOU GIVE US CREDIT FOR.  I AM SO STRONG ON THE OUTSIDE BUT DYING ON THE INSIDE FOR MY BABIES.  STRESS DOESNT HAVE CRAP ON ME.  WHEN I SAY WALK IN MY SHOES, LIVE WHAT I LIVE FOR ONE DAY, LIVE MY WORRIES...

TRINITY AND PYPER I AM BACK AND READY TO FIGHT SO MUCH MORE FOR YOU BOTH.    I HAVE GOT IT OUT AND NOW CF I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS.... MY GIRLS ARE GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS... YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS FAMILY, AND YOU WILL NOT BRING US DOWN.  WE ARE 1!!!!!! 1 FAMILY, 1 UNIT, 1 TEAM READY TO BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES.  I GOT THIS GIRLS.  MOMMA IS A CONTROL FREAK MANIAC, WHO WILL WIN THIS WAR AGAINST MYSELF IN MY HEAD, AND MOST DEFINETLY WIN THIS CF WAR FOR BOTH OF YOU.  

MARTIE

11 YEARS AND COUNTING

11 YEARS AGO TOMORROW I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND.  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN 11 YEARS.  BOY TIME IS PASSING US BY...  I REMEMBER THE FIRST DAY I MET HIM, HIS GREENISH, BLUE EYES AND HIS WOW WEEEEEE CHEST... OH LORD, I REMEMBER THINKING WOW!!!!! LOL.  HE WAS SO SWEET AND CARING AND STILL IS TO THIS DAY.  HE WON ME OVER FROM DAY ONE.  HE ASK ME TO MARRY HIM WITH ALL THE POOH BEAR CHARACTERS AND HAD MY RING IN POOHS SLEEVE.  HE KEPT KISSING MY FOREHEAD B/C HE WAS SO NERVOUS.  I REMEMBER OUR WEDDING DAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY... AFTER OUR WEDDING WE STARTED OUR FAMILY VERY QUICK.  9 MONTHS AFTER WE WERE MARRIED I WAS EXPECTING MY FIRST CHILD WITH GREG.  HE WAS A WONDERFUL FATHER BEFORE SHE WAS EVEN HERE.  HE WOULD TALK TO TRINITY IN MY STOMACH...  I REMEMBER THE DAY SHE WAS BORN AND HOW SCARED WE WERE B/C SHE WAS SO LITTLE.  WE HAD NO IDEA SHE HAD CF AT THE TIME B/C NO TESTING WAS DONE.. HERE WE COME HOME WITH THIS LITTLE GIRL WHO WAS HAVING SUCH A ROUGH TIME EATING.  IT TOOK ALMOST 3 MONTHS TO FIND OUT THE NEWS THAT ROCKED OUR WORLD TO THE CORE.  YOUR CHILD HAS CYSTIC FIBROSIS.  WE WERE DEVASTATED.  I REMEMBER THE DOCTORS SAYING THAT FAMILIES WITH MEDICAL ISSUES, HAVE PROBLEMS AND SOMETIMES RESULT IN DIVORCE. NOT US... WE HAD OUR BREAKDOWN AND CAME HOME AND KICKED ASS ON TAKING CARE OF OUR PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD. 

NEXT CAME PYPER 4 1/2 YEARS LATER.  ANOTHER LITTLE GIFT FROM GOD.  WHEN SHE WAS BORN SHE WASNT CRYING B/C SHE WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH HER LUNGS B/C SHE WAS BORN AT 36 WEEKS.  WE FOUND OUT SHE HAD CF AT 6 DAYS OLD.  WE WERE UPSET BUT WE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HAD TO BE DONE AND WE DID IT.  AFTER WE BROUGHT HER HOME WE DECIDED THAT I NEEDED TO STAY HOME B/C IT WOULD BE TO MUCH ON MY MOTHER IN LAW TO TAKE CARE OF TWO WITH CF.  SO HERE WE ARE LIVING OUR LIFE AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.  WE ARE BROKE, AND IN DEBT UP TO OUR EYEBALLS AND WOULD WE CHANGE ANYTHING:  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!   PRAYING ONE DAY WE GET OUT OF DEBT AND CAN HAVE A LESS STRESSFUL LIFE BUT FOR NOW, WE HAVE TO DO WHAT WE HAVE TO DO FOR OUR GIRLS.  THANK YOU GOD FOR MY BLESSINGS:  GREG MY WONDERFUL HUBBY WHO IS A AMAZING MAN AND AMAZING FATHER, MY GIRLS: GOD GAVE ME BOTH OF YOU TO TAKE CARE OF AND I WILL  NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR EITHER OF YOU.  BOY DID GOD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING WHEN HE PUT YOU WITH ME.  I AM A MEAN MOMMA AND DONT MESS WITH MY BABIES. 

TRINITY AND PYPER ARE DOING OK.  TRINITY HAS STARTED GROWTH HORMONE SHOTS AND MAY BE PUT ON A GTUBE IN DECEMBER IF WE CANT GET HER WEIGHT UP, AND PYPER IS DOING OK WITH HER TYPE 1 DIABETES AND INSULIN PUMP.  I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE I HAVE TWO TOUGH LITTLE GIRLS.  WHEN PEOPLE SAY TO ME: GOD DOESNT GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE.  I NOW UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS.  HE HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH AND I KNOW I CAN HANDLE SO MUCH MORE.  WHEN IT COMES TO MY FAMILY:  I GOT THIS IN THE BAG.. I AM STRESSED TO THE MAX AND SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO LOSE IT BUT I HAVE TO REAL MYSELF BACK IN AND I AM READY TO GO AGAIN. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOMORROW TO MY HUBBY OF 11 YEARS.  I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND 11 MORE WITH YOU.  WE ARE GETTING OLD BUT BABY YOU ARE GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.  I LOVE YOU GG TURNER LIKE CRAZY BANANAS AND THANK YOU FOR MY TWO BLESSINGS.  GOD PUT US TOGETHER FOR A REASON AND I KNOW NOW THAT REASON WAS B/C WE CAN HANDLE THIS AND SO MUCH MORE.  HE KNEW WE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLE PARENTS AND WOULD TAKE CARE OF OUR GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT IT MEANT. 

MARTIE

stressed out momma

There are times in my life when I wonder what my children think of me:  I feel like such a drill sargent with them:  do this, eat, eat, eat, breathe during your treatments, etc.etc.etc.  Why can't we have a normal life, were my girls don't have to worry about anything other than playing.  This trying to get extra calories in Trinity, I think is going to be the death of me.  Now that we are doing the shakes, she is not eating snacks.  So I don't think we are winning this battle. I talked with her this morning and I told her I am sorry, I told her I feel like a terrible mom b/c she has to do all this. We cried together and then a little while later she brings me a star student award that says best mom.  If she only knew how much I needed that.  As i was typing this, pyper just brought me a heart shaped potato chip.  My girls, my world, if they only new how much I love them.

Pyper is doing good and being a little monster as always.  lol.  Trinity starts school next week, and I am already starting to stress about that and all the germs.  We have stayed healthy all summer and I thank god for that.  We will be back in our bubble come probably September until about March, so if you are sick or look sick, or feel anything: please don't come to this house b/c i might not be so nice. 

Well I feel like stress has finally taken its toll on me.  My thyroid is screwed up, I am grinding my teeth now, tension headaches, and other stuff that goes on in the bathroom, but I am not putting that. lol.  I don't know if my thyroid is causing me to feel this way, or if I have finally lost it.  Things are going good, but I always stress about something, whether it be doing treatments, making sure the beds are made, making sure they are eating, making sure they have everything they need, my husband needs, etc.etc.etc.  I have come to realize that a mother will give everything she has to take care of her family.  That is me..... This heart medicine the dr has me on for my heart has me feeling like i am on a downer.  I am a go getter, and I aint getting nothing done.... I did however make the beds today, wash sheets, folded clothes and all the stuff with the kids but that feels like i am just making myself do it.  lol.  Well my wonderful husband is home, so I am going to go so I can get a shower before he thinks I look like a mess. 

Stressed out momma

JUST WANTED TO TYPE

WELL WE ARE INTO SUMMER AND ENJOYING EVERY BIT OF IT.  MY GIRLS ARE DOING GOOD AND FOR THAT I AM SO THANKFUL.  TODAY, I DID HEAR ABOUT CF TAKING ANOTHER YOUNG LIFE.  A 23 YEAR OLD BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.  GOD, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.  I KNOW I AM SO TOUGH AND GOD YOU PUT ME AS THESE GIRLS MOTHER AND FOR THAT, I AM SO THANKFUL.  GOD, WATCH OVER THAT FAMILY AND TAKE CARE OF THEM DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME.  LORD, CONTINUE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS FAMILY AND MY GIRLS. 

ON ANOTHER NOTE:  HERE LATELY I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT WORKING.  SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT.  DO I FEEL I SHOULD: NO BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT MY HUSBAND AND HOW HARD HE WORKS AND MY FAMILY AND GREG'S FAMILY AND ALL THEIR SUPPORT--IT BOTHERS ME.  ALL I WANT IS FOR US TO BE OK IN EVERYWAY POSSIBLE.  I KEEP FEELING LIKE WE ARE TREADING WATER AND ABOUT TO SINK AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY?  MAYBE ITS BECAUSE WE GOT IN SO DEEP, NOW WE HAVE TO FIGHT TO GET OUT.  I FEEL SO BAD B/C MY HUSBAND WORKS ALL DAY AND I AM COUPED UP IN THE HOUSE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET OUT AND SHOP OR JUST DO SOMETHING FUN.  I FEEL BAD B/C OF THAT.  THAT IS THE WOMAN IN ME AND WE CANT DO THAT.  WHEN WILL OUR LIFE BE OK AGAIN.  I KNOW OUR LIFE IS GREAT, AND MY GIRLS ARE GREAT BUT HAVING LESS STRESS WOULD BE FABULOUS. 

WE GO TO THE CF DOCTOR THIS WEEK AND I PRAY FOR GREAT RESULTS.  MY OLDEST WILL BE IN 4TH GRADE THIS YEAR.  BEFORE I KNOW IT, SHE WILL BE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL AND THAT KILLS ME.  MY BABY WILL START NEXT YEAR AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THAT, IT MAKES ME SICK.  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?  BEING A MOM IS WHAT I DO BEST.  WHO WILL I HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH ALL DAY, WHO WILL I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, WHAT WILL I DO WITH MYSELF.  YES, I KNOW, GO TO WORK.. THAT IS ALL I KEEP HEARING.  PUT PYPER IN PRESCHOOL, GO TO WORK.. DOES ANYONE REALIZE HOW GREAT OUR GIRLS HAVE DONE.. IT IS BECAUSE WE DO EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO MAKE THEM SAFE, HAPPY AND AS HEALTHY AS POSSILBE. 

TODAY IN CHURCH: MY OLDEST SAID SHE LEARNED THAT GOD COMES FIRST. I SAID THAT IS RIGHT HONEY.  EVERYBODY SAYS IF YOU DO FOR GOD, HE WILL DO FOR YOU. GIVE IT ALL TO HIM.  I AM TRYING AND IT IS SO HARD.  I ALWAYS DO FOR MY FAMILY.  I TRY TO GIVE THE GIRLS THE WORLD, TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE, THE FOOD, EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE FOR MY HUBBY.. GIVING MY GIRLS EVERYTHING I KNOW IS NOT WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSE TO DO AND THEY DONT GET EVERYTHING...

I KNOW MY BLOGS DONT MAKE MUCH SENSE B /C WHEN I START TYPING, I JUST TYPE WHATEVER I FEEL.  LOL.  WHAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW IS I LOVE MY FAMILY.  I LOVE YOU GREG TURNER, TRINITY AND PYPER MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY.  I KNOW I AM NOT PERFECT AND THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE ABOUT MYSELF BUT STAY WITH ME AND LOVE ME... MY HUBBY IS THE GREATEST... MAN, FATHER AND PROVIDER AND FOR THAT I COULDNT ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE.  THANK YOU GOD ONCE AGAIN FOR WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.  STAY WITH US AND PLEASE GIVE THOSE THE WISDOM TO CURE THIS DISEASE.  AMEN.

JUST WANTED TO TYPE

MARTIE

LOVE AND STRESS

WE ARE TWO WEEKS DOWN WITH THE PUMP AND COUNTING.  MY PYPER IS DOING OK OTHER THAN WHEN WE CHANGE OUT THE SIGHT AND SHE SCREAMS AND CRYS.  I PRAY WITH TIME IT GETS A LOT EASIER. 

MY TRINITY IS GETTING READY TO BE DONE WITH HER 3RD GRADE YEAR.  MY BABY IS GROWING UP SO FAST.  I AM SO PROUD OF HER AND ALL SHE DOES. 

MY GIRLS ARE SO STRONG... THEY MAKE ME STRONGER..

THE TURNER'S SEEM TO BE DOING OK RIGHT NOW, OTHER THAN I CAN'T GET RID OF THIS COUGH TRINITY HAS.  PRAYING ONCE SCHOOL IS OVER, WE CAN KICK THE COUGHS BUTT AND GET IT OUT OF HER. 

HERE LATELY, I HAVENT BEEN MYSELF B/C WITH ALL THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON WITH PYPER AND BEING DIAGNOSED WITH DIABETES, AND JUST STRESS.  I FEEL I HAVE BEEN SO UPTIGHT WITH GREG.. I THINK I AM A BIT NEUROTIC.. YES I ADMIT IT... I WANT THINGS DONE A CERTAIN WAY, AND I THINK SOMETIMES I DRIVE HIM NUTS WITH MY CRAZINESS.

I FREAK OUT OVER A COUGH, SOMEONE WITH A RUNNY NOSE, ANYTHING AND MY HUBBY IS JUST SO LAYED BACK.  I KNOW I AM THE STAY AT HOME MOM AND ALL THE WORRY AND STRESS SHOULD PROBABLY BE ON ME BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IS ON MY SHOULDERS AND EVERYBODY ELSE GETS TO RELAX. 

THE OTHER DAY ONE OF MY FRIENDS SAYS QUIT STRESSING, RELAX AND ASK ME IF I NEEDED A XANAX.  I ASK MY HUBBY ONCE I GOT HOME IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.  HE SAID NO, BUT YOU NEVER RELAX.. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY WORRIED AND STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME.. MAYBE THEY ARE RIGHT BUT HOW DO YOU CHANGE THAT.  IF I LET MY GUARD DOWN, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN..

ALSO HERE LATELY, I FEEL LIKE GREG IS STRESSING MORE.  HE STRESSES DIFFERENT THAN I DO.. HE SAID THE OTHER DAY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THE GIRLS WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF I OFF'D MYSELF.  I SAID WHAT... WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. HE SAID THEY WOULDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY OR ANYTHING. MY LIFE INSURANCE WOULD TAKE CARE OF THEM.. I SAID, WELL WHAT ABOUT ME.  YES WE HAVE A STRESSFUL LIFE, BUT I WOULD LOSE IT ALL FOR MY HUBBY AND MY GIRLS.  HE SAID, I WOULDNT DO THAT, BUT SOMETIMES I THINK IT WOULD MAKE LIFE EASIER.  LIFE IS SUPPOSE TO BE HARD, IF IT WASNT THEN WHAT KIND OF LESSONS WOULD WE LEARN FROM ALL THIS. 

GODS LESSONS ARE GREAT LESSONS.  HE DOESN'T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE.  SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE HE HAS MORE FAITH IN ME THAN I DO BUT I GOT THIS AND SO DOES MY HUBBY.  THIS AM ON THE RADIO, THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT REASONS PEOPLE GET A DIVORCE, AND ONE WAS IF THERE IS A STAY AT HOME MOM IN THE HOUSE, THE HUSBAND IS DOING ALL THE WORK AND HE FEELS ALONE AND LIKE HE HAS SO MUCH ON HIM.  DOES MY HUBBY FEEL THAT WAY????  I PRAY HE KNOWS, I LOVE HIM DEARLY AND WE ARE WORKING TOGETHER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT.  HE WORKS OUT OF THE HOME AND I WORK IN THE HOME... I MAY NOT GET PAID BUT MY JOB IS JUST AS HARD IF NOT HARDER THAN SOMEONE WHO WORKS OUTSIDE OF THEIR HOME. 

I LOVE YOU GG AND ALL YOU DO FOR US... TRINITY AND PYPER, MOMMA LOVES YOU BOTH SO MUCH AND I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR YOU TWO...

MARTIE

MY MOTHER IS DRIVING ME BANANAS. BUT I DO LOVE HER.....

OK JUST HERE TO VENT TODAY. I WAS TOLD I AM INSENSITIVE.  I AM NOT, I HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE AND FORGIVE ME IF I DONT WANT TO HAVE A PITY PARTY B/C A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL IS PREGNANT AND THE BABY DADDY IS A CONVICTED FELON, AND SHE IS GETTING A FREE PREGNANCY THROUGH MEDICAID AND WIC AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE.  DONT TAKE IT THAT I DONT THINK SHE DESERVES IT, BUT I JUST GET SO ILL B/C I KNOW WHAT MY HUSBAND IS DOING TO MAKE IT FOR US.  MY MOTHER AND I ARE ABOUT TO RIP EACH OTHERS HEADS OFF TODAY.  I KNOW YOU SHOULD RESPECT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER AND I DO, BUT B/C I TOLD MY MOM WHAT I THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION, I DON'T APPRECIATE ALL SHE DOES FOR US AND NOW I TALK ABOUT HER LIKE SHE IS A DOG.  LETS GET ONE THING STRAIGHT, I LOVE MY MOTHER, AND I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL SHE DOES.  SHE JUST CALLED MY HUSBAND AND SAID SHE IS SO SICK OF ME AND MY SISTER TALKING ABOUT HER.  WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT.. WE DONT TALK ABOUT HER.  WE WORRY ABOUT HER, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. 

I HAVE SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, IF I NEED TO FLIP OR JUST VENT, WHY CAN'T U LISTEN. 

ANOTHER THING, I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES THAT PEOPLE THINK MY KIDS ARE CIRCUS FREAKS.  OUT IN PUBLIC IF THEY ARE EATING, LETS SCREAM IT ACROSS THE PLACE WE ARE AT, DONT THEY NEED THERE MEDICINE, DONT THEY NEED ENZYMES, DONT THEY NEED THIS, AND WHEN SOMEONE LOOKS, OH THEY HAVE CYSTIC FIBROSIS.  THAT PERSON DOESNT NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY CHILDS LIFE.  I GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL.  I AM A GREAT MOTHER AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR MY KIDS.  MAYBE I JUST NEED TO BLOW UP AND THEN MAYBE PEOPLE WILL SEE WHAT IS ALL GOING ON IN OUR LIVES. 

I AM SORRY TO SOUND LIKE AN UNSENSITIVE BITCH, BUT I AM NOT. I AM A VERY SENSITIVE PERSON, BUT JUST LISTEN TO ME.  UNDERSTAND WERE I AM COMING FROM.  I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY IN MY LIFE.  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR WHAT PEOPLE DO FOR US, MORE THAN THEY PROBABLY KNOW. 

JUST LISTEN... THAT IS IT.  DONT THINK I NEED HELP B/C FOR ONCE IN 9 YEARS OF BEING A MOTHER, I HAVE FINALLY LOST IT AND FLIPPED.  YESTERDAY, WITH MY DAD AND DEANN, WE TALKED AND LAUGHED AND JUST HAD A GOOD CONVERSATION.  WHY CANT MY MOM DO THAT.  JUST LISTEN, JUST WORRY ABOUT US, AND JUST KEEP BEING A GRANDMOTHER TO MY BABIES.  THAT IS ALL I WANT.  UNDERSTAND WHEN WE SAY STUFF, WE LOVE YOU AND WORRY ABOUT YOU. 

SORRY TO VENT
MARTIE

YOU COMPLETE ME

THE LAST WEEK HAS BEEN A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS.  FIRST TRINS ASK ME IF SHE IS GOING TO DIE EARLY, AND THEN PYPER'S BLOOD SUGAR YESTERDAY WAS 472 ON HER BLOOD WORK.  MY BABIES DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS.  A CHILD SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIVE, RUN, PLAY AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.  THE PARENTS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE THE ONES WHO HAVE PROBLEMS, NOT MY BABIES. 

GOD, WE NEED TO TALK AGAIN.  I KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO BE THESE GIRLS MOTHER.  GOD, MY GIRLS ARE MY WORLD. THEY ARE THE LOVES OF MY LIFE.  GOD, THEY SAY YOU DON'T GIVE ANYONE MORE THAN THEY CAN HANDLE.  I CAN HANDLE A LOT.  GIVE ME THE PROBLEMS, GIVE ME THE PNEUMONIA, THE BLOOD SUGAR OF 472, THE WORRIES, THE ENZYMES, ETC.ETC.ETC.  I CAN DO IT.  I KNOW MY TWO GIRLS ARE TOUGHER THAN NAILS.  THESE TWO BABIES OF MINE ARE FIGHTERS.  THEY GET IT HONEST B/C I AM THAT WAY.  GOD, I NEED YOU.  MY GIRLS NEED YOU, MY HUBBY NEEDS YOU.. WATCH OVER THIS FAMILY AND GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING, PLEASE GIVE THOSE THE WISDOM THEY NEED TO CURE THIS DISEASE--CF.....

HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SAY YOU HAVE AN UNBELIEVABLE HUSBAND.  WE MAY ARGUE, FIGHT, SCREAM AT EACH OTHER FROM TIME TO TIME. I WATCHED MY HUBBY YESTERDAY AFTER THE DOCTOR CALLED ABOUT PYPER'S BLOOD SUGAR, PUT HIS HANDS OVER HIS FACE, AND I KNOW HE WAS PRAYING.  WHEN I CHECKED HER SUGAR AT THAT TIME, IT WAS 262.  HE GOT UP WALKED OUTSIDE AND TRINITY SAID HE LAYED ON THE PORCH AND CRIED.  A GROWN MAN CRYING OVER HIS GIRLS.  THAT MAN IS MY ROCK.. HE ALWAYS TRIES TO BE SO STRONG.  I ASK HIM YESTERDAY IS HE READY TO RUN. HE SAID NO!!!!  I LOVE THAT MAN MORE THAN ANYTHING.  THANK YOU GREG FOR BEING YOU AND FOR TAKING CARE OF US.. YOU HAVE SO MUCH ON YOU AND I DON'T KNOW IF I TELL YOU ENOUGH, BUT THANK YOU...

THE TURNER'S ARE GOING TO BE FINE. THE DEVIL BETTER BACK OFF MY FAMILY. LEAVE MY GIRLS ALONE. THIS IS ONE MOTHER HE DOESNT WANT TO GO UP AGAINST.. I WILL KICK HIS ASS!!!!! SORRY TO BE BLUNT, BUT BLUNT IS ME..  RIGHT NOW I AM LAYING IN BED WITH PYPER AND MY TRINS IS AT SCHOOL.  YESTERDAY AFTER WE FOUND OUT ABOUT PYPER'S BLOOD SUGAR, ME BEING A CRAZY MOM, MADE HER SLEEP WITH ME.  I WAS DOING SO GOOD, NOW HERE I GO BACKING  UP. I PRAYED OVER HER, I PRAYED OVER HER THIS AM, AND HER BLOOD SUGAR WAS 101.  THAT IS GOOD, BUT I AM STILL SO WORRIED.  IS HER PANCREAS ALREADY BEING AFFECTED B/C THE CF.  NO, IT ISNT.  THIS MOM SAID NO... 

THIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.  THESE THREE PEOPLE IN THIS PICTURE.  IF THEY ONLY NEW HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM.  GOD, WATCH OVER THEM AND TAKE CARE OF THIS FAMILY.  GOD IF WE NEED TO LOSE EVERYTHING WE HAVE OTHER THAN OUR HOUSE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS FAMILY.  THEN SO BE IT.. GOD, I AM SUPPOSE TO BE AT HOME WITH MY GIRLS AND I AM SUPPOSE TO BE AT HOME TO TAKE CARE OF MY HUBBY.  CARS, AND CREDIT CARDS, ETC. CAN ALL BE REPLACED BUT THESE 3 CAN  NOT BE.. CREDIT CAN BE REBUILT.  I TOLD GREG YESTERDAY, IF SOMETHING ELSE IS WRONG WITH ONE OF MY BABIES, I AM WALKING AWAY FROM IT ALL-MEANING DEBT.  I TOLD HIM, OUR GIRLS COME FIRST.. HE AGREED.. I LOVE YOU GREG TURNER, AND TRINITY AND PYPER, I AM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS.  I LOVE YOU GIRLS MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.  MY BABIES- TRINIBINI AND PNUT- YOU TWO AND YOUR DADDY MAKE ME COMPLETE.  AS THE JERRY MCGUIRE MOVIE GOES- YOU COMPLETE ME!!!!!!

DYING ON THE INSIDE

IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I HAVE BEEN ON HERE, BUT I NEED TO JUST TYPE AND TRY NOT TO CRY..

MY TRINITY ASK ME THIS MORNING, MOMMA AM I GOING TO DIE YOUNG.  I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO CHOKE TO DEATH, I CRIED AND GRABBED HER AND WE CRIED TOGETHER.  I HAVE CRIED ALL DAY.  THIS IS KILLING ME.  MY BABY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.  THE REASON SHE ASK ME IS BECAUSE, YESTERDAY WE WENT TO A CF FUNDRAISER AND A 21 YEAR OLD GIRL SPOKE AND SHE SAID SOME STUFF THAT I DON'T DISCUSS WITH MY BABIES.  MY BABY, MY BABY, WHY DOES SHE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THIS.

MY HUSBAND CAME IN BEHIND ME IN THEIR ROOM AND HE JUST HUGGED ME.  HE SAID YOU CAN'T DO THIS, OUR BABIES ARE FINE.. I SAID TO HIM EARLIER TODAY, GREG WHAT IF I LOSE MY BABIES.  I CAN'T DO THIS.  I TOLD HIM, GREG YOU WILL HAVE TO TAKE MY LIFE.  HE SAID STOP.

GOD, PLEASE GOD, CURE MY BABIES.  YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO IT.  MY GIRLS ARE MY WORLD.. I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE NOT HEARING THEIR LITTLE VOICES, NOT SEEING THEIR LITTLE FACES, NOT HEARING THEM FIGHT.. I SHOULD NOT BE THINKING ABOUT ANY OF THIS.. MY BABIES SHOULD NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT THIS.  WE WERE DOING SO GREAT AND THEN ONE THING MADE HER ASK ME THAT QUESTION. 

TRINITY AND PYPER, IF YOU EVER READ THIS -- PLEASE KNOW I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH.  YOU GIRLS ARE MY WORLD.  I AM READY TO WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL TO BE ABLE TO STAY AT HOME WITH YOU GIRLS FOREVER.  TODAY MADE ME REALIZE, I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU BOTH.  I COULD CARELESS IF I EVER WORKED AGAIN.  TAKING CARE OF BOTH OF YOU IS WHAT MATTERS THE MOST.  I LOVE YOU TWO MORE THAN ANYTHING... YOU GIRLS ARE MY ROCK, YOU MAKE ME BREATHE...

FORGIVE ME FOR MY SADNESS.  THIS IS ONLY GOING TO MAKE ME FIGHT HARDER FOR MY BABIES... I CAN DO THIS, I CAN DO THIS.  JUST GIVING MYSELF ALITTLE PEP TALK..

OH MY GOD, MAKE IT GO AWAY.. THE PAIN IN MY HEART... TRINITY AND PYPER I AM SO SORRY I GAVE YOU THIS... WOULD I CHANGE IT, HELL NO.. I WOULDNT GIVE MY TWO LITTLE MONSTERS UP FOR NOTHING... DO I WISH YOU DIDNT HAVE IT, YES, BUT IF THAT MEANT NOT HAVING YOU, THEN NO WAY.. GOD DOESNT GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE.. GOD KNEW WHEN HE MADE ME YOUR MOTHER, HE KNEW I WOULD FIGHT AND I WOULD DIE FOR YOU BOTH...  OMG, I LOVE U TWO WITH EVERY BREATH I BREATHE... 

I AM DYING ON THE INSIDE
MARTIE TURNER

a real man!!!!!!!!

SOMETIMES IN  LIFE I WONDER HOW U CAN DO THINGS TO PEOPLE?  HOW YOU CAN NEVER TELL THEM HOW PROUD U R OF THEM, NEVER SAY I AM PROUD OF THE PERSON YOU HAVE BECOME.  WELL THIS BLOG IS FOR THE ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE THAT I THINK DESERVES SOME PRAISE AND IT IS MY HUSBAND. 

DO ANY OF YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MAN DOES FOR US?  HE WORKS, HE PAYS ALL THE BILLS, HE BUYS ALL THE GROCERYS, HE BUYS ALL OF HIS 3 SICK GIRLS MEDICINES, ETC.ETC.ETC.  THE STRESS THIS MAN HAS ON HIM HAS GOT TO BE SO UNREAL AND HE DOES ALL THIS WITH HARDLY ANY COMPLAINT.  THE OTHER DAY, I FINALLY SAW THAT SOME OF THIS STUFF WAS GETTING TO HIM.  SEEING YOUR HUSBAND GET UPSET, MAKES YOU REALIZE THAT IT IS BOTHERING HIM.  THIS MAN, THIS MAN HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR US..  MOST MEN WOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY, THEY WOULD HAVE LEFT AND NEVER TURNED BACK.  NOT THIS MAN...  I ASK HIM IF HE WANTED ME TO WORK, HE SAYS NO B/C THE GIRLS DO BETTER WITH YOU AT HOME WITH THEM.  HE IS TRYING SO HARD AND WE CANT GET ANYWHERE.  HE SAID THE OTHER DAY, HIS MOM SAID HE WASNT RAISED THAT WAY.. DO YOU THINK HE OR I DID THIS ON PURPOSE, NO, WE ARE TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS FAMILY.. 

MY HUBBY, MY BESTFRIEND, MY ONE PERSON I TELL EVERYTHING TO, WHETHER GOOD OR BAD..  GREG, I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE, THERE ARE NOT MANY LIKE YOU AND I THANK GOD FOR YOU EVERYDAY...  DON'T LEAVE US, STAY WITH US.  IT WOULD BE EASY FOR HIM TO RUN, BUT HE DOESNT.  GREG LOVES HIS GIRLS WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS IN HIM. 

GREG AND I ARE GOING TO RAISE OUR GIRLS THE BEST WAY WE KNOW HOW AND THAT IS WITH LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING...  WE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR OUR GIRLS, NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION.  SOMETIMES, TAKING A STEP BACK AND LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE YOU MIGHT SEE YOU ARE HURTING AND NOT UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD.  GREG, IT IS ME AND YOU AND OUR GIRLS.  LIKE MY DAD SAID TO YOU THE OTHER DAY, YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO HIM OR COME TO HIM..  NEVER FEEL YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, OR YOU HAVE DONE WRONG, B/C GUESS WHAT WE ALL HAVE. 

I JUST WANTED TO BLOG TODAY AND JUST LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT MY HUBBY IS AMAZING IN SO MANY WAYS AND I THANK GOD FOR HIM EVERYDAY..  I LOVE YOU GREG AND YOU R THE MOST AMAZING FATHER AND HUSBAND, EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT PUNISH YOUR KIDS. LOL. U R STILL AMAZING. 

LOVE,
MARTIE

WE LOVE U GG AND DADDY

LORD WATCH OVER US

SITTING HERE WITH PYPER WAITING FOR TRINITY TO GET HOME FROM SCHOOL.  TODAY MY DAD WENT TO EAT LUNCH WITH HER, AND SHE TOLD HIM OUR HOUSE IS FOR SALE.  I NEW HE WOULD SEE IT SOONER OR LATER BUT SHE TOLD HIM.  MY DAD CALLED AND TOLD ME HE ASK HER ABOUT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY AND HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WE WERE GOING TO DO, HE SAID SHE PUT HER HEAD DOWN AND SAID PAW-PAW, I DONT KNOW IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THE MONEY TO DO ANYTHING.  I CHOKED TO DEATH.  THAT BABY IS HEARING EVERYTHING WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT.  I TOLD HER WE WERE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT BACK ON HER PARTY THIS YEAR TO SAVE MONEY.  THAT JUST ABOUT KILLED ME.  THEN SHE TOLD HIM WE HAD THE HOUSE FOR SALE B/C OF MONEY.  OMG, TALK ABOUT RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT OF YOUR CHEST.  I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO TALK TO HER WHEN SHE GETS HOME.  I KNOW SHE UNDERSTANDS BUT I DONT WANT HER STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT.  WE ARE DOING ALL OF THIS FOR THEM, SO WE CAN CONTINUE TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE TAKEN CARE OF.  I JUST DONT WANT HER OR PYPER WORRYING ABOUT ANY OF IT. 

WELL, WE DID PUT THE HOUSE ON THE MARKET B/C WE ARE TIRED OF STRUGGLING.  WE WANT TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE.  WE ARE THE TURNER'S, WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT.  I AM PUTTING ALL MY FAITH IN THE GOD ABOVE.  THIS IS JUST ONE OF THOSE TEST IN LIFE, TO SEE IF YOU ARE GOING TO SINK OR SWIM.  WE HAVE BEEN TREADING FOR AWHILE NOW.  GOD SEE US THROUGH. 

ON A BETTER NOTE, THE GIRLS ARE DOING GOOD.  TRINITY IS ALITTLE STOPPED UP, BUT WE ARE GOING TO BE FINE. PYPER IS RUNNING AROUND AND ACTING CRAZY.  THANK YOU GOD FOR MY GIRLS AND FOR THEM DOING GOOD.. 

LORD, JUST WATCH OVER US.... 

MARTIE TURNER

BLOGS TO GOD!!!

WELL THIS HAS BEEN A CRAZY WEEK. 
                1. turned down for ssi again
                2. pyper has spilled milk about 4 times
                3. trinity and her vomiting.

I HAVE TO SAY THE DEVIL HAS BEEN WORKING HARD TO UPSET ME THIS WEEK.  WHEN I GOT THE LETTER ABOUT BEING TURNED DOWN FOR SSI AND READING THE INFORMATION ON THE LETTER, I STARTED TO CRY.  IT SAYS THAT CF DOESNT RELATE IN DEATH.  DO THEY REALIZE HOW MANY HAVE DIED FROM THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE.  I CRIED AND GOT SO UPSET B/C I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THIS AND THERE CHILD HAS ADD/ADHD OR ASTHMA OR THEY HAVE MENTAL ISSUES. 

R U KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY YOUNGEST PYPER HAS ASTHMA AND CYSTIC FIBROSIS.  I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR US BUT I GOT SO MAD.  WHY DON'T WE DESERVE IT, WHY CAN'T MY GIRLS GET MEDICAID.  I DON'T WANT ANY MONEY I JUST WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SECONDARY INSURANCE COVERAGE.  SOMEBODY TELL ME THAT OUR GOVERNMENT AND OUR SYSTEM ARE RIGHT.  HA, ON THAT.  U HAVE TO LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, AND BE A WORTHLESS PARENT TO GET ANY HELP.  IT JUST DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE.  I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I AM TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO GET HELP.  I UNDERSTAND, IF YOU ARE A SINGLE MOTHER, OR FATHER AND NEED HELP.  I GET THAT.  IT JUST MAKES ME MAD THE DIAGNOSIS THAT GET HELP AND HOW CAN THEY OK THAT AND NOT CF.

THE GIRLS CULTURES CAME BACK WITH JUST STAPH ON THEM. I WAS SO EXCITED I WANTED TO CRY.  I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT PYPER AND HER PSEUDOMONAS.  THANK YOU GOD.  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT.  I MIGHT GET DOWN IN THE DUMPS B/C ALL THIS OTHER STUFF BUT GOD KNOW, I GIVE ALL THE GLORY TO HIM.  STAY WITH MY GIRLS...  TRINITY IS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH WANTING TO VOMIT EARLY IN THE MORNING. I WONDER IF AFTER SHE SLEEPS AND GETS UP, IF ALL THE MUCOUS WANTS TO COME OUT.  IT IS ALWAYS A LOT OF MUCOUS.  AFTER SHE VOMITS SHE USUALLY FEELS BETTER. 

WELL WE TRIED TO REFINANCE THE CAR, AND THEY APPROVED US, SO I GUESS THAT MEANS WE ARE STILL IN GOOD STANDINGS WITH OUR CREDIT BUT THEY WANTED 2500 DOLLARS DOWN TO DO IT AND IT WAS ONLY GOING TO LOWER MY PAYMENT BY ABOUT 130 DOLLARS.  THAT IS GOOD, BUT I DONT WANT TO START OVER.  WE ARE TRYING SO HARD TO DO EVERYTHING WE CAN BUT THINGS JUST ARENT WORKING OUT.  WHEN I WORKED, THINGS WERE GOOD.  RIGHT NOW, WITH JUST ONE INCOME IT IS HARD.  I FEEL LIKE WE DO NOTHING. WE DON'T GO OUT, WE DON'T GO TO THE MOVIES, WE DON'T DO ANYTHING.  WE ALWAYS STAY HOME.  I LOVE BEING HOME BUT SOMETIMES IT WOULD BE NICE TO REWARD OURSELVES FOR SOMETHING.  I ALMOST WANT TO LOOK AT OUR FAMILY AND SAY WE ARE IN DEBT, MY HUBBY IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN AND I DON'T WANT TO HERE HOW WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS AND THAT.  WE CAN'T SAVE, WE CAN'T HAVE A HUGE SAVINGS ACCOUNT. WE SCREWED UP.  MY HUBBY BLESS HIS HEART, SAID MARTIE I CAN'T TELL MY FAMILY THAT.  BOY, MY FAMILY KNOWS WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN. 

GREG, COMES FROM A FAMILY, WERE U DONT GET IN DEBT, YOU PAY EVERYTHING ON TIME, WHICH WE DO, AND YOU SAVE..  I FEEL FOR GREG.  HE IS SCARED TO DEATH TO LOOK AT HIS PARENTS AND TELL THEM OUR SITUATION.  I COULDNT LIVE THAT WAY.  I AM A OPEN BOOK, MY DAD CAN READ IT ON MY FACE IF SOMETHING IS WRONG OR IF I AM DOWN.  I WOULDNT SAY IT, BUT MY FAMILY KNOWS.  EVERYBODY JUST KEEP PRAYING FOR US.  WE ARE GOING TO BE OK B/C I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING GOD ON MY SIDE AND THE MOST AMAZING HUSBAND AND FAMILY AND KIDS.  GOD IS GOOD. 

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GO BACK TO WORK AND THEN I THINK ABOUT MY GIRLS AND HOW WELL THEY HAVE DONE WITH ME AT HOME.  GREG AND ME FEEL THIS IS JUST THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  GOD KEEP ME HOME WITH OUR BABIES AND PLEASE KEEP THEM DOING GOOD.  I FEEL MY FACEBOOK AND BLOG ARE ME TALKING TO GOD.  I GUESS MINE ARE BLOGS TO GOD AND FACEBOOK TO GOD.  LORD WATCH OVER US DURING OUR HARD TIMES. 

MARTIE (ONE PROUD MOM OF TRINS AND PYPER)

I JUST CANT CONCENTRATE!!

I AM HAVING A ILL DAY.  IT MUST BE WOMAN HORMONES. LOL.  HYSTERECTOMY TOOK SOME THINGS, BUT BOY IT LEFT MY ILLNESS FOR ONE WEEK AND MY CRYING SPELLS ALL THE REST OF THE MONTH.  THE TURNER'S NEED A VACATION.  THE GIRLS HAD THEIR CF APPOINTMENTS AND THEY ARE DOING GOOD, OTHER THAN WE NEED TO GET WEIGHT ON TRINITY AND PYPER IS STILL WHEEZING.  PRAYING WE GET WEIGHT ON TRINS AND FOR PYPER TO STOP WHEEZING AFTER WINTER. 

THE TURNER'S ARE TRYING SO HARD STILL BUT LIKE I SAID IN MY LAST POST, I AM TRYING TO STOP STRESSING SO MUCH AND PUTTING SOME OF OUR WORRIES IN GODS HANDS.  BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM IS STRESSFUL ENOUGH AND WITH CF ON TOP OF THAT, AND THEN TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINANCES.  NOT SO GOOD.  HOW MANY OTHER CF MOMS DON'T SLEEP THAT GREAT.  I COULD STAY UP ALL NIGHT, AND THEN SLEEP THE NEXT MORNING.  DON'T KNOW WHY.  I MIGHT JUST BE ON A STAY AT HOME MOM CLOCK NOW. 

RIGHT NOW, MY WONDERFUL FAMILY IS PLAYING TROUBLE. SO CUTE.  I AM TYPING B/C WHEN I AM ILL, I DO MY BEST JUST SITTING AND BEING ALONE.  MAYBE I DIDNT GET ENOUGH SLEEP LASTNIGHT.  LOL.  SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED.  I NOW SEE HOW MY HUSBAND FEELS GETTING UP AT 4 AM EVERY MORNING AND GOING TO WORK. HE ALWAYS COMES HOME AND TAKES A NAP.  I CAN'T DO THAT, B/C I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DO SOMETHING, PICK UP SOMETHING, OR WIPE UP A SPILL, OR WHATEVER IT MAY BE.  I TOLD MY HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ADHD.  MY MIND NEVER STOPS GOING.  RIGHT NOW I AM TYPING THIS BUT THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.  I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO READ THE BIBLE, AND I WILL READ A LINE AND THEN BE OFF IN LA-LA LAND SOMEWHERE.  THE OTHER DAY AT BIBLE STUDY, I WAS LISTENING SO WELL AND THEN I HEARD MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND AND THAT WAS IT, I WAS A GONER.  I TOLD MY HUBBY, I NEED TO ASK THE DR.  DONT WANT ANY MEDICINE BUT SOMETHING NEEDS TO MAKE MY MIND SLEEP.  EVERY DR. I USE TO WORK FOR ASK ME IF I HAD ADHD.  I DONT KNOW IF THAT WAS A INSULT OR A COMPLIMENT.  TO FUNNY.  I NEVER SAT STILL, I WAS ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND AT WORK, OR DOING SOMETHING.  THIS BLOG I HAVE STOPPED AND THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT 100 TIMES.   WHEN I GET DONE, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT.  STOP THE MADNESS.  I AM JUST TOO FUNNY.. FALLING APART I GUESS, I HAVE GREY HAIR, SO WHY NOT TAKE MY BRAIN WITH IT...

THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY CRAZINESS, AND  MADNESS!!!  THIS IS WHAT I CALL, MOMMA TIME... 

MARTIE....

GOD IS WORKING IN ME!!!!!

WELL WE ARE FINALLY GETTING OVER THE SNOW.  THANK U GOD.  I AM SURE THIS IS NOT THE LAST SNOW WE WILL HAVE. I AM SO READY FOR WARM WEATHER, THE BEACH AND MY GIRLS TO NOT HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT GERMS.  WE HAVE OUR CF APPOINTMENT THIS WEEK.  PRAYING DR. ASHE SAYS EVERYTHING IS GREAT. 

WE HAVE DECIDED TO LET MY MOM TAKE OVER ONE OF OUR CAR PAYMENTS.  SHE SAID, SHE DIDNT WANT US TO SALE IT, SO SHE IS GOING TO TAKE OVER PAYMENTS FOR AWHILE TO HELP US OUT AND ONCE WE ARE BETTER, WE CAN HAVE IT BACK.  MY DAD AND STEP MOM HAVE HELPED US OUT ALSO.  I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GOD WORKING FOR US OR JUST MY PARENTS REALIZING SOMETHING IS WRONG.  I FEEL GOD.  I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO HIM SO MUCH HERE LATELY.  WHATEVER IT MAY BE, THANK U SO MUCH FOR ALL THE HELP.  LIKE I TOLD MY DAD ONE DAY, WE GOT OURSELVES IN THIS MESS AND HOPEFULLY ONE DAY WE WILL GET OURSELVES OUT.  HE SAID, EVERYBODY DOES IT.  I TOLD HIM, I TALKED TO A CF ATTORNEY AWHILE BACK AND SHE TOLD US TO TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES, OUR CABLE.  I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT WE HAVE TO HAVE CELL PHONES B/C MY HUSBANDS JOB AND I DRIVE PRETTY FAR TO TAKE THEM TO THE DR. THAT I AM NOT GOING TO BREAK DOWN WITHOUT A PHONE AND OMG, I AM HOME ALL THE TIME.  I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT HAVING TV. 

RIGHT NOW, I AM PUTTING A LOT OF MY STRESS IN GODS HANDS.  STRESS IS NOT GOOD FOR A CF MOMMA.  I AM GOING TO CHURCH, LIVING RIGHT, AND I AM FINALLY TAKING SOME TIME TO MYSELF--LIKE GOING TO BIBLE STUDY.  I NEVER GO ANYWHERE, SO WHY NOT GO SOMEWHERE AND SPEND TIME WITH LADIES THAT ALL WORSHIP GOD. 

MY GIRLS ARE DOING GOOD RIGHT NOW.  MY OLDEST, WE ARE WORKING SO HARD TO GET HER TO GAIN WEIGHT.  I HAVE CUT OUT ALL SOFT DRINKS AND SHE IS HAVING NOTHING BUT MILK NOW.  MY YOUNGEST ALL SHE WANTS TO EAT FOR EVERY MEAL IS CEREAL.  SHE USE TO BE MY EATER.  I AM SO READY FOR WINTER TO BE OVER WITH, SO A LOT OF MY WORRIES CAN ALL DRIFT AWAY.  SPRING AND SUMMER, WE USUALLY DO GREAT.  I AM SO SCARED ABOUT THE FLU WITH MY GIRLS.  PNEUMONIA NOT SO MUCH, IT IS FLU THAT FREAKS ME OUT. 

I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT WE HAVE GREAT FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND A WONDERFUL CHURCH TO ATTEND.  MY GIRLS LOVE IT.  I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD MY OLDEST, THE DR. SAID THE NUMBER ONE PLACE TO GET GERMS IS AT CHURCH.  BOY, WE QUIT GOING SO FAST.  ONCE TRINITY GOT OLDER, WE WENT TO DIFFERENT CHURCHES TRYING TO FIND THAT ONE THAT MADE US FEEL COMFORTABLE.  WE HAVE FOUND IT.  THE GIRLS LOVE IT AND ARE MEETING GREAT PEOPLE, AND I LOVE IT..  GOD, KEEP DOING GREAT THINGS IN OUR LIVES.  MY HUBBY HE ONLY GETS TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME 8 SUNDAYS EVERY 16 WEEKS.  I WISH HE WENT EVERY SUNDAY, BUT HE HAS TO BRING HOME THE BACON.  LOL. 

THANK U ALL WHO READ MY BLOG.  WE HAVE OUR WORRIES, BUT WE ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THEM WITH GOD... 

LOVE TO ALL OF YOU,

TRINS AND PYPERS CF MOMMA....