GOD, I HEAR YOU

DO YOU EVER WONDER IF YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOUR FAMILY....  DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE HURT YOUR FAMILY...  THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS, I HAVE HAD TO MAKE THE DECISION TO STOP WATCHING KIDS THAT I WAS KEEPING.. NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE PUT SO MUCH MORE ON MY HUSBAND.. NOW HE HAS ALL THE BURDEN ON HIM.  I STRESS SO MUCH, I WORRY SO MUCH, AND I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO GET MY KIDS SOMETHING IF THEY WANT IT.  I KNOW THAT SHOULDNT MATTER, BUT IT BOTHERS ME.  MY FAMILY KEEPS SAYING, MARTIE I KNOW HOW YOU ARE ABOUT YOUR GIRLS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?  IF I NEW DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE SO WORRIED. 
SOMETIMES IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO SINK OR SWIM, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT.  GREG AND I BOTH FEEL I NEED TO BE HOME WITH OUR GIRLS.  WHAT IS WEIRD, IS DO YOU EVER WONDER IF GOD IS TRYING TO TELL YOU TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND YOU ARE NOT LISTENING.  LAST YEAR WHEN I STAYED AT HOME, WE DECIDED TO PUT OUR HOUSE ON THE MARKET, THE VERY NEXT DAY, AN OLD DOCTOR I WORKED FOR CALLED ME AND ASK ME TO COME BACK TO WORK FOR HIM.  WAS THAT GOD TALKING TO ME......  SO I PUT IT IN GODS HANDS AND I WENT BACK TO WORK AND WE TOOK THE HOUSE OFF THE MARKET.  WHEN I STOPPED WORKING THIS TIME, I STARTED KEEPING A FRIEND OF OURS TWO LITTLE ONES, AND THE VERY FIRST DAY I KEPT THEM, I GOT A CALL ABOUT A JOB.  THIS TIME I DIDNT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THAT SIGN FROM GOD BUT NOW I AM WONDERING IF GOD HAS BEEN TALKING TO ME ALL ALONG.  I FEEL SO MUCH IN MY HEART, THAT I NEED TO BE HOME WITH MY GIRLS..  THERE IS NO ONE THAT CAN TAKE CARE OF MY BABIES LIKE I CAN.  THEY EAT BETTER FOR ME, WE GET ALL OUR TREATMENTS AND VEST DONE. 
GOD, I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF YOU ARE TALKING TO ME, I HEAR YOU, I SEE THE SIGNS I AM GETTING, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MY GIRLS NEED ME.  IF I THINK ABOUT GOING BACK TO WORK, I FEEL LIKE I COULD JUST DIE.  I AM A HARD WORKER, WHEN I WORKED I LOVED IT, BUT NOW THINGS ARE DIFFERENT, I HAVE MY BABIES TO WORRY ABOUT.  SO GOD, PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON US, WE NEED YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW, BUT I HAVE TO DO WHAT I FEEL IS RIGHT AND THAT IS BEING WITH MY BABIES.  DEAR GOD, PLEASE WATCH OVER GREG, HE IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO TAKE CARE OF US AND GOD THE NUMBER ONE THING I NEED FROM YOU IS A CURE FOR CYSTIC FIBROSIS FOR MY GIRLS AND FOR ALL THE OTHERS OUT THERE FIGHTING THIS DISEASE.  THAT HAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER ONE PRAYER. 

MY GIRLS ARE DOING GOOD, THEY ARE FIGHTING THIS FIGHT AND DOING A GREAT JOB KICKING ITS BUTT.  CYSTIC FIBROSIS YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THIS..  THE TURNER'S ARE GOING TO WIN THIS BATTLE.  SO BACK OFF!!!

MARTIE