THIS IS MY OUT, MY VOICE, MY FEELINGS....

THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS WITH MY HUBBY AND KIDS HAVE BEEN SO GOOD.  LOVING MY LIFE...  GOD IS GOOD.  MY GIRLS ARE BREATHING EASY.  PYPER HAS ASTHMA, SO WE HAVE TO CONTINUE BREATHING TREATMENTS ALL THROUGH THE WINTER..  PRAYING ONCE WINTER IS OVER SHE WILL BE BACK TO HER OLDSELF AGAIN, WITH NO WHEEZING AND NO COUGHING..  TRINITY IS DOING GREAT!!!!

IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME...  THE KIDS ARE BOUGHT FOR AND THANK U GOD FOR THAT.  IF NO ONE ELSE GETS ANYTHING, I AM SORRY, BUT WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR KIDS FIRST AND FORMOST.  REMEMBER, CHRISTMAS IS NOT ABOUT GIVING, BUT TO ME IT IS ABOUT BEING WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE, AND THANKING GOD FOR ALL YOU HAVE...  GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO THE TURNER'S.  GOD I GIVE U ALL THE GLORY FOR EVERYTHING.. 

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I QUESTIONED U GOD, WHY ME, WHY US, WHY MY GIRLS.  I AM SORRY FOR THAT GOD... I DONT DO THAT ANYMORE.  WE ARE FINE, MY GIRLS ARE FINE, THE TURNER'S ARE FINE AND THE REASON FOR THAT IS YOU GOD.... 

THE ONLY PROBLEM WE HAVE NOW, IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO KEEP ME HOME FOR 2 MORE YEARS WITH PYPER..  THE REASON WE ARE IN THE SITUATION WE ARE IN IS B/C OF STUPID MISTAKES WE MADE, STUPID PURCHASES, IMPULSE BUYING..  HAVE WE LEARNED FROM OUR MISTAKES, YES WE HAVE, BUT HOW DO YOU FIX IT ON ONE INCOME, ONE INCOME WITH 3 PEOPLE WHO HAVE DISEASES THAT COST A BUNDLE.  I DONT KNOW IF THERE IS A WAY, BUT WE ARE TRYING LORD..  JUST KNOW, WE ARE TRYING.  I KNOW MY POST SEEM LIKE I AM ALWAYS TALKING TO GOD, AND I PROBABLY AM...  THIS IS MY OUT, MY VOICE, MY FEELINGS...  I DO BETTER WRITING OR TYPING THINGS DOWN.  GREG AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT SELLING OUR CAR, SELLING THE HOUSE, BUT WHY??  DO I WANT TO PUT MY KIDS IN AN APARTMENT, THAT I DONT KNOW IF IT IS CLEAN OR WHO LIVED THERE BEFORE ME, AND WHY DO I WANT TO SALE MY CAR, AND JUST START OVER WITH ANOTHER ONE.  WE HAVE TO HAVE 2 CARS.  A LOT OF OUR PROBLEM IS BIG CAR PAYMENTS.  I USE TO HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR A NEW CAR, AND SO DID MY HUSBAND.  THE 2 OF US TOGETHER, WAS NOT GOOD WHEN WE WANTED A CAR.  IF I GET TO KEEP THESE TWO, WE ARE KEEPING THEM UNTIL THE DOORS FALL OFF OF THEM...  MY HUBBY HAS CAR OR SHOULD I SAY TRUCK FEVER NOW, I TOLD HIM, NO WAY!!!!! 

THE TURNER'S ARE TRYING..  MY MOTHER IN LAW HAS DONE HER DEED HELPING US.  SHE IS TIRED AND THE THINGS THAT THESE TWO NEED ARE SO MUCH AND IT IS HARD FOR ONE PERSON TO HANDLE IT.   I KNOW I COULD PUT THEM IN DAYCARE, BUT DR. ASHE DOESNT FEEL THAT IS A GOOD IDEA AND GREG AND I DONT EITHER.  ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO WORK, BUT FOR NOW, MY GIRLS NEED ME...  WHEN YOU BECOME A PARENT, YOU CHANGE.  I CHANGED SO MUCH AFTER HAVING MY TWO BABIES.  I ALWAYS SAID I WOULDNT STAY AT HOME, I WOULDNT BREASTFEED.  BOY, THAT WAS A LIE.  I WOULD DIE FOR THEM RIGHT NOW, AT THIS VERY SECOND IF I HAD SOMETHING IN  MY BODY THAT WOULD MAKE THEM BETTER, I WOULD GIVE THEM THE WORLD.  I WENT FROM WEARING NICE NAME BRAND CLOTHES, TO WEARING TARGET OR WALMART STUFF, SO MY KIDS COULD HAVE MORE.  THE THINGS U DO FOR YOUR KIDS...  WOULD I CHANGE ANYTHING I HAVE DONE, YES BUT THAT IS ONE THING.  THAT ONE THING IS, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OUT, WHAT I SPENT MY MONEY ON, WHAT I REALLY NEEDED..  WE WOULDNT BE IN THE BOAT WE ARE IN NOW...  THE TURNER'S ARE FIGHTING, WE ARE GOING TO WIN.  GOD, STAY WITH US THROUGH THIS, DONT LEAVE US.  WE NEED U MORE NOW, THAN EVER... 

ONE FAMILY PRAYING FOR THINGS TO WORK OUT!!!!
MARTIE T.