ME AND MY GIRLS

ME AND MY GIRLS
THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

Saturday, December 25, 2010

WHITE CHRISTMAS....

THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT CHRISTMAS.  MY GIRLS GOT EVERYTHING THEY WANTED AND THEY HAVE BEEN PLAYING HARD ALL DAY.  THIS CHRISTMAS HAS ALSO BEEN A VERY EMOTIONAL ONE FOR ME.  LASTNIGHT ONCE SANTA HAD EVERYTHING SET UP, I BROKE DOWN AND I DONT MEAN A LITTLE CRYING, I WAS SOBBING, COULDNT CATCH MY BREATH.  THANK GOD EVERYONE WAS ASLEEP.  I JUST NEEDED TO DO THAT B/C I WAS LOOKING AROUND AT ALL THEY HAD AND I WAS SO THANKFUL.  GREG AND I HAVE AN AMAZING FAMILY, IS ALL I CAN SAY.  THANK YOU VERY MUCH IF YOU ARE READING THIS.  GREG ASK ME THE OTHER DAY WOULD I TAKE BACK EVER BEING MARRIED TO HIM.  I SAID ABSOLUTELY NOT..  HE SAID MAYBE YOU WOULDNT BE IN THIS SITUATION IF YOU HADENT MET ME.  I STARTED TO CRY AGAIN AND I SAID, WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER AND WE WILL GET OUT OF IT TOGETHER.  I LOVE HIM AND MY GIRLS WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE.. 

THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS ARE GOING TO BE HARD FOR ME, I HAVE A LOT OF DECISIONS TO MAKE ON OUR FAMILY.  I DONT KNOW IF I AM GOING LEFT OR RIGHT SOMETIMES, STRESS IS A WITCH WITH A CAPITAL W, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.  I GOT ANOTHER CALL ABOUT A JOB THE OTHER DAY, ROTATING DAYS, WORK LIKE 4 DAYS BE OFF 3 THEN BE OFF LIKE 4 AND WORK 3, BUT HOURS ARE 8 TO 7 DURING THE WEEK AND NOT SO SURE ABOUT WEEKEND.  WELL GUESS WHAT, I CAN'T DO THAT EITHER B/C IT ISNT PART TIME.  I BELIEVE GOD IS PLAYING A FUNNY JOKE ON ME.  NO I AM JUST KIDDING.  HE IS SENDING ME SIGNS THAT I NEED TO WORK, AND I KEEP TELLING HIM I CAN'T BECAUSE MY GIRLS ARE MY WORLD AND DAYCARE WANT WORK FOR US.  WHAT IS A FAMILY SUPPOSE TO DO..  I AM JUST SO READY TO SALE THE HOUSE, THE CAR, AND WHATEVER ELSE WE CAN AND START OVER.  WE ARE YOUNG, WE CAN BUY A HOUSE WHEN I CAN GO BACK TO WORK BUT THEN I THINK ABOUT APARTMENT LIVING AND THAT IS NOT A LIFE FOR MY GIRLS WHO ARE USE TO RUNNING AND PLAYING IN THERE YARD AND ALL IN THE STREET B/C OUR NEIGHBORS ARE GREAT AND THEY WATCH OUT FOR ALL THE KIDS.  I KNOW I CAN'T HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT TO.  SOMETIMES I WISH MY FAIRY GOD MOTHER WOULD GRANT ME 3 WISHES:

1. CURE FOR CYSTIC FIBROSIS
2.  FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO STAY AT HOME WITH MY GIRLS
3.  TO HAVE NO DEBT.  JUST WIPE IT OUT.  MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL, BOY I CAN SAY GREG AND I HAVE LEARNED THAT LESSON.  ITS HARD TO NOT WANT TO BUY SOMETHING NICE WHEN ALL WE DO IS STAY AT HOME. 

I HAVE HAD TO PUT ON MY BIG GIRL PANTS AND DO A LOT OF PRAYING AND CRYING.  DONT FEEL SORRY FOR ME.  IT WAS FUNNY THE OTHER DAY I RAN INTO SOMEONE AT OLD NAVY B/C THE GIRLS NEEDED SOMETHING FOR THE CHRISTMAS PROGRAM, THEY ARE FRIENDS WITH ME ON FACEBOOK.  THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE OMG, I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HER.  REALLY WE ARE GOING TO BE FINE.  JUST A LOT OF WORRIES RIGHT NOW AND CONCERNS.  DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT.  I AM STILL THE SAME PERSON, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE MORE CAUTIOUS... 

LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS WE HAD AND FOR TAKING CARE OF US AND LETTING US GET THROUGH THIS WITH OUR GREAT FAMILY.  OH AND THANK YOU FOR THE WHITE CHRISTMAS.  AMAZING!!!!  EVERYONE LOVE YOUR LITTLE ONES TIGHT..  GOD THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, I NEED YOU TO SHOW ME THE WAY..  THE JOB CALLS, I UNDERSTAND THAT IS WHAT I NEED TO DO, BUT I CAN'T.  SO GOD CAN YOU SEND ME ANOTHER SIGN, ONE THAT WORKS FOR US RIGHT NOW.  I PROMISE WHEN I GET PNUT IN SCHOOL, WORKING IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO.  MAYBE GREG CAN STAY HOME AND RELAX A LITTLE ONCE I DO GO BACK.  LORD YOU ARE AWESOME IN SO MANY WAYS.  YOU SHOW ME EVERYDAY.  CHURCH HAS BEEN CANCELLED FOR TOMORROW B/C THE SNOW, BUT I AM SURE GOING TO MISS IT.  IT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. 

EVERYONE HAVE AN AMAZING CHRISTMAS!!! LOVE TO ALL OF YOU. 

MARTIE T.

Monday, December 13, 2010

TIS THE SEASON TO LOVE

SITTING HERE WITH MY HUBBY, WHILE THE GIRLS ARE HOPEFULLY IN BED.  IT IS ALMOST THAT TIME AGAIN AND I CANT GET EVERYTHING DONE.  IT IS TO COLD TO TAKE THE GIRLS OUT AND FINISH WHAT I NEED TO DO, AND TO COLD FOR ME TO GO OUT AND SHOP. 

TRINITY IS FEELING GOOD, HOPEFULLY WE CONTINUE WITH THIS AND PYPER IS, I DON'T KNOW.  SHE HAS CRIED A LOT TODAY AND SHE IS JUST ILL.  I REALLY DON'T THINK SHE HAS EVER GOT BETTER FROM THEM SAYING SHE HAS ASTHMA.  SHE STILL TELLS ME HER CHEST HURTS.  I LISTEN AND DON'T HEAR ANYTHING, SO I GUESS THAT IS A GOOD THING BUT STILL WORRIED ABOUT HER.  I WILL BE SO GLAD WHEN IT IS 75 DEGREES AND WARM.  SPRING TIME CAN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH.  I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO MOVE TO THE BEACH AND BE AROUND SALT WATER ALL DAY.  MY GIRLS DO SO GOOD WHEN WE ARE AT THE BEACH. 

I HAVE BEEN ILL AND KINDA DEPRESSED HERE LATELY, AND TALKING A LOT TO GOD..  DO ANY OF YOU EVER ASK HIM, WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO??  LIKE I SAID ONE DAY IN MY POST, I NEED TO SIT ON SANTA'S LAP AND ASK HIM, FOR THE ONE GIFT I WANT SO BAD.  I NEED 2 MORE YEARS AT HOME WITH MY GIRLS...  THAT WAY THEY GET EVERYTHING THEY NEED AND I KNOW THEY ARE TAKEN CARE OF.  DAYCARE IS NO OPTION FOR US... 

I WANT ALL OF YOU TO THINK ABOUT CHRISTMAS AND WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU.  TO ME, IT MEANS BEING WITH MY FAMILY..  MY GIRLS AND HUSBAND ARE MY WORLD.. SOMETIMES I WONDER IF MY HUSBAND EVEN KNOWS WHAT HE MEANS TO ME.  WHAT I SACRIFICE FOR HIM, AND FOR OUR GIRLS.  WOULD I CHANGE ANY OF IT, NO I WOULDNT BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER.  I STAY AT HOME, I CLEAN, I COOK, I DO TREATMENTS, VEST, WASH NEBULIZERS, GIVE MEDICINES, VITAMINS, FOOD, ETC, ETC, ETC.  TO ME, THIS IS MY JOB, MY 7 TO WHATEVER TIME I FINALLY CRASH JOB AND I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT, EVERY SECOND OF IT.  DO I COMPLAIN SOMETIMES, MY GOD YES, WHO DOESNT.  MY HUSBAND SAYS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK FOR ME, IS THE GROCERYSTORE, THAT IS MY OUT.. I AM AT THE STORE FOR 30 MINUTES AND I MISS THEM SO MUCH, THAT I RUSH HOME JUST TO HEAR THEM FIGHTING. THAT IS LOVE, I MUST SAY.  THEY ARE MY MONSTERS.....

REMEMBER TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES, AND TO LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY..  CHRISTMAS ISNT THE TIME FOR GIVING BUT THE TIME TO SPEND WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE.  THIS YEAR HAS BEEN A FIRST FOR ME, I COULDNT BUY EVERYTHING I WANTED TO, AND I GOT TO DO A LOT OF WINDOW SHOPPING.  I DID OK, BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS A DOWNER...  I AM MAKING SACRIFICES FOR US, FOR THIS FAMILY AND SO IS GREG AND SO ARE MY GIRLS BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE, WE WILL NEVER SACRIFICE ANYTHING THAT OUR GIRLS NEED.  THEY COME FIRST IN THIS HOUSE AND ALWAYS WILL.... 

GOT TO GO BECAUSE LITTLE PYPER IS CRYING.. SHE FEELS MOMMA SHOULDNT HAVE AN OUT, THAT MY WORLD HAS TO STOP FOR HER.  LOL

TIS THE SEASON TO LOVE,



MARTIE T.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

THIS IS MY OUT, MY VOICE, MY FEELINGS....

THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS WITH MY HUBBY AND KIDS HAVE BEEN SO GOOD.  LOVING MY LIFE...  GOD IS GOOD.  MY GIRLS ARE BREATHING EASY.  PYPER HAS ASTHMA, SO WE HAVE TO CONTINUE BREATHING TREATMENTS ALL THROUGH THE WINTER..  PRAYING ONCE WINTER IS OVER SHE WILL BE BACK TO HER OLDSELF AGAIN, WITH NO WHEEZING AND NO COUGHING..  TRINITY IS DOING GREAT!!!!

IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME...  THE KIDS ARE BOUGHT FOR AND THANK U GOD FOR THAT.  IF NO ONE ELSE GETS ANYTHING, I AM SORRY, BUT WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR KIDS FIRST AND FORMOST.  REMEMBER, CHRISTMAS IS NOT ABOUT GIVING, BUT TO ME IT IS ABOUT BEING WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE, AND THANKING GOD FOR ALL YOU HAVE...  GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO THE TURNER'S.  GOD I GIVE U ALL THE GLORY FOR EVERYTHING.. 

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I QUESTIONED U GOD, WHY ME, WHY US, WHY MY GIRLS.  I AM SORRY FOR THAT GOD... I DONT DO THAT ANYMORE.  WE ARE FINE, MY GIRLS ARE FINE, THE TURNER'S ARE FINE AND THE REASON FOR THAT IS YOU GOD.... 

THE ONLY PROBLEM WE HAVE NOW, IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO KEEP ME HOME FOR 2 MORE YEARS WITH PYPER..  THE REASON WE ARE IN THE SITUATION WE ARE IN IS B/C OF STUPID MISTAKES WE MADE, STUPID PURCHASES, IMPULSE BUYING..  HAVE WE LEARNED FROM OUR MISTAKES, YES WE HAVE, BUT HOW DO YOU FIX IT ON ONE INCOME, ONE INCOME WITH 3 PEOPLE WHO HAVE DISEASES THAT COST A BUNDLE.  I DONT KNOW IF THERE IS A WAY, BUT WE ARE TRYING LORD..  JUST KNOW, WE ARE TRYING.  I KNOW MY POST SEEM LIKE I AM ALWAYS TALKING TO GOD, AND I PROBABLY AM...  THIS IS MY OUT, MY VOICE, MY FEELINGS...  I DO BETTER WRITING OR TYPING THINGS DOWN.  GREG AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT SELLING OUR CAR, SELLING THE HOUSE, BUT WHY??  DO I WANT TO PUT MY KIDS IN AN APARTMENT, THAT I DONT KNOW IF IT IS CLEAN OR WHO LIVED THERE BEFORE ME, AND WHY DO I WANT TO SALE MY CAR, AND JUST START OVER WITH ANOTHER ONE.  WE HAVE TO HAVE 2 CARS.  A LOT OF OUR PROBLEM IS BIG CAR PAYMENTS.  I USE TO HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR A NEW CAR, AND SO DID MY HUSBAND.  THE 2 OF US TOGETHER, WAS NOT GOOD WHEN WE WANTED A CAR.  IF I GET TO KEEP THESE TWO, WE ARE KEEPING THEM UNTIL THE DOORS FALL OFF OF THEM...  MY HUBBY HAS CAR OR SHOULD I SAY TRUCK FEVER NOW, I TOLD HIM, NO WAY!!!!! 

THE TURNER'S ARE TRYING..  MY MOTHER IN LAW HAS DONE HER DEED HELPING US.  SHE IS TIRED AND THE THINGS THAT THESE TWO NEED ARE SO MUCH AND IT IS HARD FOR ONE PERSON TO HANDLE IT.   I KNOW I COULD PUT THEM IN DAYCARE, BUT DR. ASHE DOESNT FEEL THAT IS A GOOD IDEA AND GREG AND I DONT EITHER.  ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO WORK, BUT FOR NOW, MY GIRLS NEED ME...  WHEN YOU BECOME A PARENT, YOU CHANGE.  I CHANGED SO MUCH AFTER HAVING MY TWO BABIES.  I ALWAYS SAID I WOULDNT STAY AT HOME, I WOULDNT BREASTFEED.  BOY, THAT WAS A LIE.  I WOULD DIE FOR THEM RIGHT NOW, AT THIS VERY SECOND IF I HAD SOMETHING IN  MY BODY THAT WOULD MAKE THEM BETTER, I WOULD GIVE THEM THE WORLD.  I WENT FROM WEARING NICE NAME BRAND CLOTHES, TO WEARING TARGET OR WALMART STUFF, SO MY KIDS COULD HAVE MORE.  THE THINGS U DO FOR YOUR KIDS...  WOULD I CHANGE ANYTHING I HAVE DONE, YES BUT THAT IS ONE THING.  THAT ONE THING IS, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OUT, WHAT I SPENT MY MONEY ON, WHAT I REALLY NEEDED..  WE WOULDNT BE IN THE BOAT WE ARE IN NOW...  THE TURNER'S ARE FIGHTING, WE ARE GOING TO WIN.  GOD, STAY WITH US THROUGH THIS, DONT LEAVE US.  WE NEED U MORE NOW, THAN EVER... 

ONE FAMILY PRAYING FOR THINGS TO WORK OUT!!!!
MARTIE T.