WHY US, WHY MY GIRLS

why us, why my girls




DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY ME, WHY MY FAMILY, WHY MY GIRLS. I SIT AND LOOK SOMETIMES AT ALL THE FAMILIES OUT THERE WHO HAVE IT SO EASY, AND IT MAKES ME MAD, AND IT SHOULDNT, BUT IT DOES. MY GIRLS DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND TO BE ABLE TO GET UP AND NOT HAVE TO DO ENZYMES, NEBULIZERS, VEST THERAPY, VITAMINS. I AM ONE MOTHER WHO IS FIGHTING FOR HER DAUGHTERS LIVES SO THEY CAN LIVE, AND BREATHE EASY. I THINK BACK AND REMEMBER THE DAY WE WERE GIVEN THE NEWS OF MY OLDEST DAUGHTER HAVING CF. I FELT LOST, AND SO ALONE. I WAS HOLDING HER IN MY ARMS AND SHE WAS SO LITTLE BECAUSE SHE WASNT GAINING WEIGHT, AND I FELT LIKE I WANTED TO DIE. MY HUSBAND ON THE OTHER HAND SHUT DOWN, HE DIDNT TALK, HE JUST SAT AND LISTENED TO WHAT THE DOCTORS HAD TO SAY. THE OTHER DAY, MY HUSBAND WAS ON THE COMPUTER AND HE DIDNT SHUT DOWN A PAGE HE HAD LOOKED AT AND I PULLED IT UP AND HE WAS LOOKING AT LIFE EXPECTANCY OF CF AND DIABETES, B/C I HAVE DIABETES, AND MY HEART BROKE. TEARS CAME ROLLING DOWN MY FACE WHEN I ASK HIM, AND HE SAID MARTIE I WAS JUST LOOKING. HE TOLD ME ONE DAY THAT HE DIDNT WANT TO BE ALONE WHEN HE GETS OLD, WITHOUT US. MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER WAS TESTED FOR CF WHEN SHE WAS BORN, THEY TESTED HER CORD BLOOD, AND WE FOUND OUT WHEN SHE WAS 6 DAYS OLD. I WAS UPSET BUT SOMETHING HAD TOLD ME FROM THE DAY I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT THAT THIS BABY HAD IT TO. I HAVE THE HARDEST TIME NOT BLAMING MYSELF. MY GIRLS RIGHT NOW ARE 8 AND 3. THEY ARE MY WORLD. WE FIGHT CF, AND I AM A BIT OF A GERMAPHOBE NOW SO I TRY TO KEEP THEM AWAY FROM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I BET A LOT OF YOU DONT PANIC WHEN YOU HEAR A COUGH FROM SOMEONE AROUND YOU, WELL I DO. WHAT IF THAT PERSON HAS SOMETHING MY GIRLS CANT FIGHT OFF. I NEVER REALIZED THAT A COUGH COULD SCARE ME SO MUCH, AND IT DOES. NOW I DONT ASK WHY ME, WHY MY GIRLS, I JUST TAKE CARE OF THEM, THIS IS MY JOB, MY DUTY AS A MOTHER AND I WANT LET MY BABIES DOWN. WHATEVER I HAVE TO DO FOR THEM, I WILL. TO TRINITY AND PYPER IF YOU ONLY NEW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH. YOU GUYS ARE THE REASON I BREATHE. YOU TWO ARE MY ROCK ALONG WITH MY HUBBY. SO I NO LONGER ASK WHY B/C MY BABIES MAKE ME FEEL COMPLETE. WE ARE NORMAL, I AM JUST A MOM DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO TAKE CARE OF MY BABIES.



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