As I sit here and look at our home here on Jason Court, the memories come rushing back. We have lived here almost 18 years. I can remember signing papers with Greg before we moved in. I can remember coming to look at this house with a realtor. I remember loving it and I still do. This house holds so many memories for us. Good, bad, and scary. We will be moving soon and we are ready but our memories here will never be forgotten.
I brought Trinity and Pyper both home here. I can remember holding Trinity when she weighed less than five pounds in my arms and crying because we had no idea what was wrong. I remember praying to God for help. I can remember the call that told me Pyper was diabetic. I can remember seeing my husband laying on front porch with his face covered and crying. I can remember sitting under the trees in the front yard and playing with her while I died on the inside. I can remember having huge birthday parties, blow ups, and toys everywhere. I can remember Greg and the girls riding four wheelers in the area behind the house and wrecking. lol. I can remember our many talks in this house. I can remember crying, laughing, screaming, and fighting in this house. If these walls could talk, they would say this family lived, loved, and their strength is amazing. I can remember bringing Bacca home and being closed in the side door because he tried to run out to be with us. I can remember the day that tooth on Elvis was looking at me through the side door begging to come in. I can remember the day we put pool in and the fun we have had with it. I can remember Greg sleeping almost everyday taking naps here. I can remember praying sometimes for a miracle in this house for our girls.
This house has seen so much. I wish a video would come with this house when we left. Oh the memories from that would be amazing. Our life is changing and before long we will be moving our oldest hopefully to college within two or so years. Life changes!! make memories, love hard, and never forget the true meaning of love. True unconditional love. When we finally pull out of this neighborhood I pray I don't lose it. I pray for God to continue to guide us with our girls and our lives. I pray for the same miracle everyday.
Here are dates I will never forget. February 2000 when we bought this house. October 14th, 2000 was the date when I married my bestfriend. On March 26th, 2002 our first amazing blessing entered this world. She was under stress and the doctor had to get her out right then. Another time is November 15th, 2006 when another strong, beautiful, fighter entered this world not breathing very well on her own. We all came home to this house. I remember first crawls, first steps, laughs, giggles, first low blood sugar with an ambulance call which was me when I about chewed my tongue off right after we got married. Greg thought I was dying. It is funny now but at the time, not so much. lol. I can remember Pypers first low and the ambulance call. I can still picture myself in that moment and see everything going on around me and not being able to fix it. I can remember Trinity praying on her hands and knees for her sister to be ok. I can remember Greg saying I have got his under control. I can remember screaming at him to call now. Please call now!!!! God was with us at that time and I will never forget it. Hold your memories tight.
So as we start a new chapter in our lives I pray for guidance, I pray for more amazing memories, and I pray for us to be ok. So onward and upward crazy Turner family. We will begin our new memories in January and I can't wait for what the future holds for us. I can tell you with 2018, will come a lot of changes for us. New home, the big sweet 16 for my oldest, and middle school for my baby. 2018 might kill me. lol. So let the memories begin again...
Old memories will last a life time and the new ones will follow along with the old. We are a strong family who loves hard!!!! Wherever we go, we will be together and always have each others back. One unit, one family, and one bond that is unbreakable!!!!! To the new family coming in: make memories, love hard, and enjoy every minute with the ones you love. I pray this home gives you the same blessings it has given us. It changed our lives forever. This home made us a family. This home made us complete. It made the Crazy Turner family of 4+2 dogs... This house is made with love and strength!!!!!
To one end that will never be forgotten!!!!!
Love,
The Crazy Turners
ME AND MY GIRLS
THE LOVES OF MY LIFE
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Monday, July 10, 2017
love letter
Have you ever thought about why god picked you for this journey? Have you ever thought about what your life means to you, or your husband's life, or your children's lives? I never think about me. I only think about my girls and my husband. I am ok with the saying: God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers because I know my kids are the definition of strength and fight. Life is what you make it. Life is a battle everyday whether you are healthy or you have a condition that makes breathing hard. I see everyday as a miracle, a blessing, and a journey i don't want to miss. I want my girls to see the world, I want them to experience all of life's blessings. I want them to experience prom, graduation, driving, boyfriends, love, fear, college, marriage, and so much more. I am on this journey to see that. I am a mom to two of the most amazing little girls in the world. I am the strength that pushes when my girls may not like it. I am the mother who stays in the background, who cries behind closed doors, and who has so much in her heart for the 3 most important people in my life.
CF I am going to write you a love letter.
Dear CF,
I know you don't care about me the way I care about you. I know you want to hurt me and bring me to my knees. I know you are in love with both my girls lungs. I can't hate you because those lungs you mess with are my world. They are my life. CF you bring pain with you every time you show your ugly head. You bring tears, sadness, and madness. I watch my Pyper wheeze almost everyday and cry with me when I can't fix it. I try to hide in my room and keep it to myself but that little girl knows me as much as I understand her.
CF you take fun, you take sleep, you take stress to a whole new level. You give me anxiety attacks, panic attacks wake me when I sleep because I worry non stop. You are mean, you show no remorse, and you are only out to hurt. Guess what? I want let you. This love story I have with you is because my girls have you apart of them. So I will love you because you are apart of them but if I could get my hands around your neck, I would kill you and go to jail for the rest of my life. I would make you struggle, almost stop your breathing, cause you tears, and oxygen drops. I would hurt you because you hurt the two most important people in my life. Yep, I am that mom who would not shed one tear for you. I would look you straight in the face and blow you away with not an ounce of sadness. I have watched you take loved ones, watched you cause horrific pain, and watched you show no mercy to parents. I want to cuss you and fight you and drop to my knees when I can't do it anymore but I see two little girls watching me and those two little hearts keep me being ok with you. God picked me because I am mean, I am quiet, but I am strength when nobody sees it. I want stop fighting you until a cure is found and my girls outlive me. I want stop fighting you until my girls are ok. I want stop fighting you until CF stands for cure found. So back off this love story because our love story is amazing with you and we want let you stop it. Our family of 4 rocks. My love story is my girls and whatever comes with them. My love story is strength, fight, and fun times with my girls. This love story is priceless!!! This love story is unbreakable. So CF you are here but we will see you gone. We will see you leave and never come back because god knows we need that cure and it will happen because giving up isn't an option.
Yours truly
A mom in love with her two CF fighters
CF I am going to write you a love letter.
Dear CF,
I know you don't care about me the way I care about you. I know you want to hurt me and bring me to my knees. I know you are in love with both my girls lungs. I can't hate you because those lungs you mess with are my world. They are my life. CF you bring pain with you every time you show your ugly head. You bring tears, sadness, and madness. I watch my Pyper wheeze almost everyday and cry with me when I can't fix it. I try to hide in my room and keep it to myself but that little girl knows me as much as I understand her.
CF you take fun, you take sleep, you take stress to a whole new level. You give me anxiety attacks, panic attacks wake me when I sleep because I worry non stop. You are mean, you show no remorse, and you are only out to hurt. Guess what? I want let you. This love story I have with you is because my girls have you apart of them. So I will love you because you are apart of them but if I could get my hands around your neck, I would kill you and go to jail for the rest of my life. I would make you struggle, almost stop your breathing, cause you tears, and oxygen drops. I would hurt you because you hurt the two most important people in my life. Yep, I am that mom who would not shed one tear for you. I would look you straight in the face and blow you away with not an ounce of sadness. I have watched you take loved ones, watched you cause horrific pain, and watched you show no mercy to parents. I want to cuss you and fight you and drop to my knees when I can't do it anymore but I see two little girls watching me and those two little hearts keep me being ok with you. God picked me because I am mean, I am quiet, but I am strength when nobody sees it. I want stop fighting you until a cure is found and my girls outlive me. I want stop fighting you until my girls are ok. I want stop fighting you until CF stands for cure found. So back off this love story because our love story is amazing with you and we want let you stop it. Our family of 4 rocks. My love story is my girls and whatever comes with them. My love story is strength, fight, and fun times with my girls. This love story is priceless!!! This love story is unbreakable. So CF you are here but we will see you gone. We will see you leave and never come back because god knows we need that cure and it will happen because giving up isn't an option.
Yours truly
A mom in love with her two CF fighters
Saturday, March 18, 2017
I am not weak!!!!!
Yesterday was one of those days that takes you to your knees. The CF community lost a beautiful sole. A fighter until the very end. A lot of people don't understand how a person you have never met can impact your life so much. As a lot of you are aware: both my girls have Cystic Fibrosis. So needless to say my heart breaks every time I see a person with this disease suffer. I look at my two girls and I see absolute love, joy, happiness, and faith. I am strong because of them. I have realized a lot the last year of my life. I actually realized the day I became a mother that what I wanted and needed are two totally different things.
I never want to miss anything with my girls. I don't want to miss one track meet, one football Friday night, one drum lesson, one basketball game, etc.etc. I have missed a few the last two weeks and it kills me. So many people tell me you need to work, you need to let go, you need to have a life. Thanks for your information but being a mom is my number one. I see that in almost 15 years of Trinity's life we have done something right with her Cystic Fibrosis. Not going to put down because I don't speak on it. We stay positive and keep our heads up, and I push them. Greg and I push our girls. Some may say we shouldn't but we do for a reason. We never want them to give up hope. I am a no bull crap kinda woman. Always have been. I speak the truth. I tell my girls the truth. I don't sugar coat anything with them because that is a lie. My girls know with me they get honesty. Sometimes Trinity doesn't like it but I do it because I want her and Pyper to always know I will give them the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
Last year I started having tremors and shaking when I went back to work. I was tested with an mri thinking parkinsons, or something else. We also did an extensive work up on my thyroid thinking it was that again. Then I was told I have essential tremors. I was put on medicine and nothing helped except being in my house with my kids and husband. I finally started realizing that I am suffering from anxiety attacks. This is not something I would ever think would happen to me. I never let stuff get to me. It is like I can't control my adrenaline level. When I go to watch Trinity run track, my legs shake, my insides jerk, and my hands start shaking. I literally have to talk myself off the ledge. I don't sleep a lot, my mind never stops, and I am constantly worried about my girls. I am trying to get me back. I am on medicine now and I see some improvements but not enough yet. I have always had my shit together and this last year, I haven't felt like me at all. I can feel myself start to get uncomfortable in Walmart in crowds or when I am standing in line and someone gets close. I hate being at gym and someone getting on treadmill beside me. They are in my space. I hate it. I don't mind my husband which is weird but he is my comfort and so are my kids. I told Greg I realized that I am most comfortable at home, with them, and in Foodlion. GO figure. lol. My comfort places. Why can't it be a tropical island? My sister told me along time ago she can't believe I am not in a padded room with all I have on me. lol. Not going to happen. I will take medicine even though I hate it because medicine makes me feel like I am a failure, like I can't get better without help, and it makes me feel weak. One thing I am not is WEAK!!!!!!
Trinity and Pyper are doing good. Pyper has missed a lot of school this year but she is still in and that is a huge blessing. I think sometimes I have kept her home when I should send her with a runny nose but I am not one of those moms. lol. She is loving her friends, school, drums, and gymnastics. Trinity is on the move. Football games, basketball games, band, and track, gymnastics and then we start over. She amazes me everyday because she is constantly moving. We are working on getting her back to tip top shape. She seems to be feeling better now and we are grateful for that. Her mile run she did on Thursday at track meet was 7 minutes and 41 seconds. Not her best at all because last year she was 6 minutes and 56 seconds. She was disappointed in herself but like I told Greg, she doesn't realize how amazing she is. She has a lung disease and can run like that and she has been sick and the track meet was freezing that day. To me: she is a rock star. Heck I can't run one lap without dying. She is amazing. Greg has been pushing himself hard to get to her time last year. Umm, he has got 7 minutes and 7 seconds. Good for an old man but Trinity still has him. lol. He amazes me because he pushes Trinity to get better. He is a beast workout wise.
The Turners are doing good. A few bumps in the road but we are on the move. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and try. Try everyday to get better, be better, and make the best of everyday. My words of wisdom are: Be the change, be the smile, be the light for someone because you never know what someone is thinking, how someone feels, or what may be going on with them. BE THE CHANGE!!!! Oh and love.
Dedicated mom and wife
Martie
I never want to miss anything with my girls. I don't want to miss one track meet, one football Friday night, one drum lesson, one basketball game, etc.etc. I have missed a few the last two weeks and it kills me. So many people tell me you need to work, you need to let go, you need to have a life. Thanks for your information but being a mom is my number one. I see that in almost 15 years of Trinity's life we have done something right with her Cystic Fibrosis. Not going to put down because I don't speak on it. We stay positive and keep our heads up, and I push them. Greg and I push our girls. Some may say we shouldn't but we do for a reason. We never want them to give up hope. I am a no bull crap kinda woman. Always have been. I speak the truth. I tell my girls the truth. I don't sugar coat anything with them because that is a lie. My girls know with me they get honesty. Sometimes Trinity doesn't like it but I do it because I want her and Pyper to always know I will give them the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
Last year I started having tremors and shaking when I went back to work. I was tested with an mri thinking parkinsons, or something else. We also did an extensive work up on my thyroid thinking it was that again. Then I was told I have essential tremors. I was put on medicine and nothing helped except being in my house with my kids and husband. I finally started realizing that I am suffering from anxiety attacks. This is not something I would ever think would happen to me. I never let stuff get to me. It is like I can't control my adrenaline level. When I go to watch Trinity run track, my legs shake, my insides jerk, and my hands start shaking. I literally have to talk myself off the ledge. I don't sleep a lot, my mind never stops, and I am constantly worried about my girls. I am trying to get me back. I am on medicine now and I see some improvements but not enough yet. I have always had my shit together and this last year, I haven't felt like me at all. I can feel myself start to get uncomfortable in Walmart in crowds or when I am standing in line and someone gets close. I hate being at gym and someone getting on treadmill beside me. They are in my space. I hate it. I don't mind my husband which is weird but he is my comfort and so are my kids. I told Greg I realized that I am most comfortable at home, with them, and in Foodlion. GO figure. lol. My comfort places. Why can't it be a tropical island? My sister told me along time ago she can't believe I am not in a padded room with all I have on me. lol. Not going to happen. I will take medicine even though I hate it because medicine makes me feel like I am a failure, like I can't get better without help, and it makes me feel weak. One thing I am not is WEAK!!!!!!
Trinity and Pyper are doing good. Pyper has missed a lot of school this year but she is still in and that is a huge blessing. I think sometimes I have kept her home when I should send her with a runny nose but I am not one of those moms. lol. She is loving her friends, school, drums, and gymnastics. Trinity is on the move. Football games, basketball games, band, and track, gymnastics and then we start over. She amazes me everyday because she is constantly moving. We are working on getting her back to tip top shape. She seems to be feeling better now and we are grateful for that. Her mile run she did on Thursday at track meet was 7 minutes and 41 seconds. Not her best at all because last year she was 6 minutes and 56 seconds. She was disappointed in herself but like I told Greg, she doesn't realize how amazing she is. She has a lung disease and can run like that and she has been sick and the track meet was freezing that day. To me: she is a rock star. Heck I can't run one lap without dying. She is amazing. Greg has been pushing himself hard to get to her time last year. Umm, he has got 7 minutes and 7 seconds. Good for an old man but Trinity still has him. lol. He amazes me because he pushes Trinity to get better. He is a beast workout wise.
The Turners are doing good. A few bumps in the road but we are on the move. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and try. Try everyday to get better, be better, and make the best of everyday. My words of wisdom are: Be the change, be the smile, be the light for someone because you never know what someone is thinking, how someone feels, or what may be going on with them. BE THE CHANGE!!!! Oh and love.
Dedicated mom and wife
Martie
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