TOmorrow will be 11 years since my big girl came into mine and my husband's life. Trinity will be 11 years old tomorrow. She has made it through so much and has shown me everyday what is most important in life. My family is.. My hubby and my girls. This time 11 years ago, i was probably sitting around and getting ready for the amniocentesis i was suppose to have on the 26th and then have her on the 27th of March. 3 1/2 weeks early from her original due date of April 13th. We had no idea we carried the cf genes and we had no idea what the next few months of our life detailed.
On the morning of March 26th, we had to be at the hospital around 6am for a 8 am amnio. He came in, and placed the needle in and brought out green fluid. I thought wow it is green. It never crossed my mind that anything was wrong. I didn't know what color it was suppose to be. lol. The doctor never made a face of concern. He had his game face on and it didn't leave. I had to stay for 2 hours after procedure to make sure everything was ok. My mother in law was with me and Greg had to leave to go to work. He left and I was waiting on my biscuit I was going to get from Bojangles once we left the hospital. The nurse came in and looked at the strip for Trinity's heart rate and my mother in law said how much longer do you think it will be before she gets to leave b/c she is diabetic and hungry. She said you aren't going anywhere. He is taking the baby today. I busted out crying. I called Greg and told him to hurry back b/c they were taking Trinity. Her heart rate was down and she was under stress and the green fluid was actually bowel movement. My doctor never faultered. He cancelled his whole morning in the office to be with me and deliver my beautiful baby girl via c-section. I remember seeing her for the first time, hearing that first cry and seeing mine and gregs life change forever. It changed to love not just for us but for the life of our baby girl. It changed to fighters, strength, fear, worry, love, and so much more.
The next 2 1/2 months were a blur.. 2 1/2 months of fear and worry b/c this momma knew something wasn't right. She was vomiting so bad and pooping like crazy all day long. She was failure to thive and she was starving to death. She was a fighter beyond anything you could ever imagine. She started to swell and the doctor thought she had a heart condition. We were sent to sanger heart and that is were we were admitted for the diagnosis of Cystic Fibrosis. I remember the doctors coming in and out, the enzyme training, the vitamin training, them telling us that couples a lot of times face divorce once they have news like this. I was 25 years old and yes i was grown but growing up is exactly what i had to do. I had to become the beast that I am. The fighter, the med giver, the vest do'er, the nebulizer mom, the vitamin giver, the enzyme carrying, force feeding my child to gain weight, crying, screaming, mother..
Trinity is the most amazing caring little girl in the world. She has faced more than most people in 11 years than most of you face in a life time. She has rocked out every obstical that has come her way. Yes she has been scared, and worried. She has seen me cry and be scared and freak out from worry. She has the heart of gold, she has my worry and she is an amazing big sister to her sister. She is the only one who knows how to work her baby sisters insulin pump, give her enzymes, do her vest and nebulizers for her cf and check her sugar. She will have blood drawn and not flinch.. She is the most amazing little girl god has ever put on this planet other than her sissy who is just a big a fighter as Trinity is.
I remember wanting kids. I remember wanting a little girl, I remember wanting to hold her and love her and take care of her. Boy did I do that. She came into this world ready for love and she has got it everyday straight for 11 years and I pray she gets it everyday for another 80 years. She is my heart, her daddys soul, her sissys best friend, my best friend.. She is the one I tell all my stories to and all my drama to.. Our family is complete bc of our two girls.
Greg and I don't have a lot of time for friends, and outings and drama, and doing this and that or being around people who are sick, or bull crap in our lives. We can't take that chance. It's weird b/c our family does everything together. You see one of us, you see all of us. We are complete b/c our puzzle fits together in 4 pieces. Greg, Martie, Trinity and Pyper.. I have been ask would I change anything in my girls life. I think about that question and I realize if I could change them having cf then i would but if it would change our family then I don't think I would do it. The bond we all have together is amazing. The love we have for one another is amazing, the fights we have together are crazy but filled with love. I would die today if I could take away their cf, diabetes, feeding tubes. I would give them one last kiss and tell them how proud i am of them and give them all my love. What they don't seem to realize is they have both had my heart and love since the day they came into this world. Greg the same thing.
There daddy loves them so much and he would do anything for them. He works so i can stay at home with them and take care of them.. He is amazing and he gave me two amazing little fighters. He is my rock and I am his and I love him more and more everyday b/c all he has sacrificed for us.
Tomorrow will be a great day but also a sad day for me b/c my baby is growing up and I hate it. I am watching her turn into an amazing little woman, and watching her change everyday, watching her attitude come out and that is going to be fun to handle, and watching the women she will turn out to be. Thank you god for my blessings.. Big and strong, scary and fearing, worrying and all my blessings. Thank you so much..
Martie T.
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