BLOGS TO GOD!!!

WELL THIS HAS BEEN A CRAZY WEEK. 
                1. turned down for ssi again
                2. pyper has spilled milk about 4 times
                3. trinity and her vomiting.

I HAVE TO SAY THE DEVIL HAS BEEN WORKING HARD TO UPSET ME THIS WEEK.  WHEN I GOT THE LETTER ABOUT BEING TURNED DOWN FOR SSI AND READING THE INFORMATION ON THE LETTER, I STARTED TO CRY.  IT SAYS THAT CF DOESNT RELATE IN DEATH.  DO THEY REALIZE HOW MANY HAVE DIED FROM THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE.  I CRIED AND GOT SO UPSET B/C I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THIS AND THERE CHILD HAS ADD/ADHD OR ASTHMA OR THEY HAVE MENTAL ISSUES. 

R U KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY YOUNGEST PYPER HAS ASTHMA AND CYSTIC FIBROSIS.  I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR US BUT I GOT SO MAD.  WHY DON'T WE DESERVE IT, WHY CAN'T MY GIRLS GET MEDICAID.  I DON'T WANT ANY MONEY I JUST WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SECONDARY INSURANCE COVERAGE.  SOMEBODY TELL ME THAT OUR GOVERNMENT AND OUR SYSTEM ARE RIGHT.  HA, ON THAT.  U HAVE TO LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, AND BE A WORTHLESS PARENT TO GET ANY HELP.  IT JUST DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE.  I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I AM TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO GET HELP.  I UNDERSTAND, IF YOU ARE A SINGLE MOTHER, OR FATHER AND NEED HELP.  I GET THAT.  IT JUST MAKES ME MAD THE DIAGNOSIS THAT GET HELP AND HOW CAN THEY OK THAT AND NOT CF.

THE GIRLS CULTURES CAME BACK WITH JUST STAPH ON THEM. I WAS SO EXCITED I WANTED TO CRY.  I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT PYPER AND HER PSEUDOMONAS.  THANK YOU GOD.  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT.  I MIGHT GET DOWN IN THE DUMPS B/C ALL THIS OTHER STUFF BUT GOD KNOW, I GIVE ALL THE GLORY TO HIM.  STAY WITH MY GIRLS...  TRINITY IS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH WANTING TO VOMIT EARLY IN THE MORNING. I WONDER IF AFTER SHE SLEEPS AND GETS UP, IF ALL THE MUCOUS WANTS TO COME OUT.  IT IS ALWAYS A LOT OF MUCOUS.  AFTER SHE VOMITS SHE USUALLY FEELS BETTER. 

WELL WE TRIED TO REFINANCE THE CAR, AND THEY APPROVED US, SO I GUESS THAT MEANS WE ARE STILL IN GOOD STANDINGS WITH OUR CREDIT BUT THEY WANTED 2500 DOLLARS DOWN TO DO IT AND IT WAS ONLY GOING TO LOWER MY PAYMENT BY ABOUT 130 DOLLARS.  THAT IS GOOD, BUT I DONT WANT TO START OVER.  WE ARE TRYING SO HARD TO DO EVERYTHING WE CAN BUT THINGS JUST ARENT WORKING OUT.  WHEN I WORKED, THINGS WERE GOOD.  RIGHT NOW, WITH JUST ONE INCOME IT IS HARD.  I FEEL LIKE WE DO NOTHING. WE DON'T GO OUT, WE DON'T GO TO THE MOVIES, WE DON'T DO ANYTHING.  WE ALWAYS STAY HOME.  I LOVE BEING HOME BUT SOMETIMES IT WOULD BE NICE TO REWARD OURSELVES FOR SOMETHING.  I ALMOST WANT TO LOOK AT OUR FAMILY AND SAY WE ARE IN DEBT, MY HUBBY IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN AND I DON'T WANT TO HERE HOW WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS AND THAT.  WE CAN'T SAVE, WE CAN'T HAVE A HUGE SAVINGS ACCOUNT. WE SCREWED UP.  MY HUBBY BLESS HIS HEART, SAID MARTIE I CAN'T TELL MY FAMILY THAT.  BOY, MY FAMILY KNOWS WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN. 

GREG, COMES FROM A FAMILY, WERE U DONT GET IN DEBT, YOU PAY EVERYTHING ON TIME, WHICH WE DO, AND YOU SAVE..  I FEEL FOR GREG.  HE IS SCARED TO DEATH TO LOOK AT HIS PARENTS AND TELL THEM OUR SITUATION.  I COULDNT LIVE THAT WAY.  I AM A OPEN BOOK, MY DAD CAN READ IT ON MY FACE IF SOMETHING IS WRONG OR IF I AM DOWN.  I WOULDNT SAY IT, BUT MY FAMILY KNOWS.  EVERYBODY JUST KEEP PRAYING FOR US.  WE ARE GOING TO BE OK B/C I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING GOD ON MY SIDE AND THE MOST AMAZING HUSBAND AND FAMILY AND KIDS.  GOD IS GOOD. 

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GO BACK TO WORK AND THEN I THINK ABOUT MY GIRLS AND HOW WELL THEY HAVE DONE WITH ME AT HOME.  GREG AND ME FEEL THIS IS JUST THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  GOD KEEP ME HOME WITH OUR BABIES AND PLEASE KEEP THEM DOING GOOD.  I FEEL MY FACEBOOK AND BLOG ARE ME TALKING TO GOD.  I GUESS MINE ARE BLOGS TO GOD AND FACEBOOK TO GOD.  LORD WATCH OVER US DURING OUR HARD TIMES. 

MARTIE (ONE PROUD MOM OF TRINS AND PYPER)

I JUST CANT CONCENTRATE!!

I AM HAVING A ILL DAY.  IT MUST BE WOMAN HORMONES. LOL.  HYSTERECTOMY TOOK SOME THINGS, BUT BOY IT LEFT MY ILLNESS FOR ONE WEEK AND MY CRYING SPELLS ALL THE REST OF THE MONTH.  THE TURNER'S NEED A VACATION.  THE GIRLS HAD THEIR CF APPOINTMENTS AND THEY ARE DOING GOOD, OTHER THAN WE NEED TO GET WEIGHT ON TRINITY AND PYPER IS STILL WHEEZING.  PRAYING WE GET WEIGHT ON TRINS AND FOR PYPER TO STOP WHEEZING AFTER WINTER. 

THE TURNER'S ARE TRYING SO HARD STILL BUT LIKE I SAID IN MY LAST POST, I AM TRYING TO STOP STRESSING SO MUCH AND PUTTING SOME OF OUR WORRIES IN GODS HANDS.  BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM IS STRESSFUL ENOUGH AND WITH CF ON TOP OF THAT, AND THEN TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINANCES.  NOT SO GOOD.  HOW MANY OTHER CF MOMS DON'T SLEEP THAT GREAT.  I COULD STAY UP ALL NIGHT, AND THEN SLEEP THE NEXT MORNING.  DON'T KNOW WHY.  I MIGHT JUST BE ON A STAY AT HOME MOM CLOCK NOW. 

RIGHT NOW, MY WONDERFUL FAMILY IS PLAYING TROUBLE. SO CUTE.  I AM TYPING B/C WHEN I AM ILL, I DO MY BEST JUST SITTING AND BEING ALONE.  MAYBE I DIDNT GET ENOUGH SLEEP LASTNIGHT.  LOL.  SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED.  I NOW SEE HOW MY HUSBAND FEELS GETTING UP AT 4 AM EVERY MORNING AND GOING TO WORK. HE ALWAYS COMES HOME AND TAKES A NAP.  I CAN'T DO THAT, B/C I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DO SOMETHING, PICK UP SOMETHING, OR WIPE UP A SPILL, OR WHATEVER IT MAY BE.  I TOLD MY HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ADHD.  MY MIND NEVER STOPS GOING.  RIGHT NOW I AM TYPING THIS BUT THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.  I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO READ THE BIBLE, AND I WILL READ A LINE AND THEN BE OFF IN LA-LA LAND SOMEWHERE.  THE OTHER DAY AT BIBLE STUDY, I WAS LISTENING SO WELL AND THEN I HEARD MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND AND THAT WAS IT, I WAS A GONER.  I TOLD MY HUBBY, I NEED TO ASK THE DR.  DONT WANT ANY MEDICINE BUT SOMETHING NEEDS TO MAKE MY MIND SLEEP.  EVERY DR. I USE TO WORK FOR ASK ME IF I HAD ADHD.  I DONT KNOW IF THAT WAS A INSULT OR A COMPLIMENT.  TO FUNNY.  I NEVER SAT STILL, I WAS ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND AT WORK, OR DOING SOMETHING.  THIS BLOG I HAVE STOPPED AND THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT 100 TIMES.   WHEN I GET DONE, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT.  STOP THE MADNESS.  I AM JUST TOO FUNNY.. FALLING APART I GUESS, I HAVE GREY HAIR, SO WHY NOT TAKE MY BRAIN WITH IT...

THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY CRAZINESS, AND  MADNESS!!!  THIS IS WHAT I CALL, MOMMA TIME... 

MARTIE....

GOD IS WORKING IN ME!!!!!

WELL WE ARE FINALLY GETTING OVER THE SNOW.  THANK U GOD.  I AM SURE THIS IS NOT THE LAST SNOW WE WILL HAVE. I AM SO READY FOR WARM WEATHER, THE BEACH AND MY GIRLS TO NOT HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT GERMS.  WE HAVE OUR CF APPOINTMENT THIS WEEK.  PRAYING DR. ASHE SAYS EVERYTHING IS GREAT. 

WE HAVE DECIDED TO LET MY MOM TAKE OVER ONE OF OUR CAR PAYMENTS.  SHE SAID, SHE DIDNT WANT US TO SALE IT, SO SHE IS GOING TO TAKE OVER PAYMENTS FOR AWHILE TO HELP US OUT AND ONCE WE ARE BETTER, WE CAN HAVE IT BACK.  MY DAD AND STEP MOM HAVE HELPED US OUT ALSO.  I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GOD WORKING FOR US OR JUST MY PARENTS REALIZING SOMETHING IS WRONG.  I FEEL GOD.  I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO HIM SO MUCH HERE LATELY.  WHATEVER IT MAY BE, THANK U SO MUCH FOR ALL THE HELP.  LIKE I TOLD MY DAD ONE DAY, WE GOT OURSELVES IN THIS MESS AND HOPEFULLY ONE DAY WE WILL GET OURSELVES OUT.  HE SAID, EVERYBODY DOES IT.  I TOLD HIM, I TALKED TO A CF ATTORNEY AWHILE BACK AND SHE TOLD US TO TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES, OUR CABLE.  I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT WE HAVE TO HAVE CELL PHONES B/C MY HUSBANDS JOB AND I DRIVE PRETTY FAR TO TAKE THEM TO THE DR. THAT I AM NOT GOING TO BREAK DOWN WITHOUT A PHONE AND OMG, I AM HOME ALL THE TIME.  I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT HAVING TV. 

RIGHT NOW, I AM PUTTING A LOT OF MY STRESS IN GODS HANDS.  STRESS IS NOT GOOD FOR A CF MOMMA.  I AM GOING TO CHURCH, LIVING RIGHT, AND I AM FINALLY TAKING SOME TIME TO MYSELF--LIKE GOING TO BIBLE STUDY.  I NEVER GO ANYWHERE, SO WHY NOT GO SOMEWHERE AND SPEND TIME WITH LADIES THAT ALL WORSHIP GOD. 

MY GIRLS ARE DOING GOOD RIGHT NOW.  MY OLDEST, WE ARE WORKING SO HARD TO GET HER TO GAIN WEIGHT.  I HAVE CUT OUT ALL SOFT DRINKS AND SHE IS HAVING NOTHING BUT MILK NOW.  MY YOUNGEST ALL SHE WANTS TO EAT FOR EVERY MEAL IS CEREAL.  SHE USE TO BE MY EATER.  I AM SO READY FOR WINTER TO BE OVER WITH, SO A LOT OF MY WORRIES CAN ALL DRIFT AWAY.  SPRING AND SUMMER, WE USUALLY DO GREAT.  I AM SO SCARED ABOUT THE FLU WITH MY GIRLS.  PNEUMONIA NOT SO MUCH, IT IS FLU THAT FREAKS ME OUT. 

I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT WE HAVE GREAT FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND A WONDERFUL CHURCH TO ATTEND.  MY GIRLS LOVE IT.  I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD MY OLDEST, THE DR. SAID THE NUMBER ONE PLACE TO GET GERMS IS AT CHURCH.  BOY, WE QUIT GOING SO FAST.  ONCE TRINITY GOT OLDER, WE WENT TO DIFFERENT CHURCHES TRYING TO FIND THAT ONE THAT MADE US FEEL COMFORTABLE.  WE HAVE FOUND IT.  THE GIRLS LOVE IT AND ARE MEETING GREAT PEOPLE, AND I LOVE IT..  GOD, KEEP DOING GREAT THINGS IN OUR LIVES.  MY HUBBY HE ONLY GETS TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME 8 SUNDAYS EVERY 16 WEEKS.  I WISH HE WENT EVERY SUNDAY, BUT HE HAS TO BRING HOME THE BACON.  LOL. 

THANK U ALL WHO READ MY BLOG.  WE HAVE OUR WORRIES, BUT WE ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THEM WITH GOD... 

LOVE TO ALL OF YOU,

TRINS AND PYPERS CF MOMMA....