There are times in my life when I wonder what my children think of me: I feel like such a drill sargent with them: do this, eat, eat, eat, breathe during your treatments, etc.etc.etc. Why can't we have a normal life, were my girls don't have to worry about anything other than playing. This trying to get extra calories in Trinity, I think is going to be the death of me. Now that we are doing the shakes, she is not eating snacks. So I don't think we are winning this battle. I talked with her this morning and I told her I am sorry, I told her I feel like a terrible mom b/c she has to do all this. We cried together and then a little while later she brings me a star student award that says best mom. If she only knew how much I needed that. As i was typing this, pyper just brought me a heart shaped potato chip. My girls, my world, if they only new how much I love them.
Pyper is doing good and being a little monster as always. lol. Trinity starts school next week, and I am already starting to stress about that and all the germs. We have stayed healthy all summer and I thank god for that. We will be back in our bubble come probably September until about March, so if you are sick or look sick, or feel anything: please don't come to this house b/c i might not be so nice.
Well I feel like stress has finally taken its toll on me. My thyroid is screwed up, I am grinding my teeth now, tension headaches, and other stuff that goes on in the bathroom, but I am not putting that. lol. I don't know if my thyroid is causing me to feel this way, or if I have finally lost it. Things are going good, but I always stress about something, whether it be doing treatments, making sure the beds are made, making sure they are eating, making sure they have everything they need, my husband needs, etc.etc.etc. I have come to realize that a mother will give everything she has to take care of her family. That is me..... This heart medicine the dr has me on for my heart has me feeling like i am on a downer. I am a go getter, and I aint getting nothing done.... I did however make the beds today, wash sheets, folded clothes and all the stuff with the kids but that feels like i am just making myself do it. lol. Well my wonderful husband is home, so I am going to go so I can get a shower before he thinks I look like a mess.
Stressed out momma
